My Spiritual Journey - A Testimony

It was a warm Saturday afternoon when I made that step towards the “Lord” that evening I was so over zealous of my new walk with the lord after growing up in the church for more than 11years this was a move I also made as a means of escaping my sexuality. Oh I was in for a surprise, about 3 weeks of been sexually in-active and been able to not think of any man wow I have over come. Then I hit me my then boyfriend (no pressure) was there and all that feeling that I wanted so badly to go just showed it ugly face, and there I was committing the worst sin ever. Each Saturday morning my boyfriend and I would have sex and I would go to church feeling all dirty, but as not to be look on as a backslider I would quickly prayed for forgiveness and then would go into deep concentration so as to feel the spirit moving all over me. That was for that moment that day and then as the Sabbath end I would be back at my boyfriend’s house and that sin is been committed again.

For more than 19 years I lived in a state of confession condemnation and worthlessness I hated myself very much and prayed fro more than three years about the situation but this thing wouldn’t go away. I prayed for everything else and saw them come through but just this one thing. In 2007 I was told of the gay church and I was taken aback about this whole gay church thing. Each time I was invited there I would say yes but wouldn’t turn up church was all I knew as a child in to my adult life and all these years I was told that been gay was nasty and they made it sounded as if there wasn’t any forgiveness for this sin, it was worse than blasphemy I was doomed. I started questing the God I have come to trust for all these years weather he would make me into some thing that was condemn and why he even bother to allow me to live . Anger took control of me hate was the order of the day.

Low self esteem carried me. Tears were what put me to bed, yet here I was serving a God who knew all things and he knew before I was born what would have happen why did he allow this evil to take over my life. I hated life and became rebellious no one could talk to me in any particular way without me retaliating and one of the ways of me doing this was to just leave home for some un know place as a student in high school dad and I got into an argument and I took the lunch money and headed for Negril some where I didn’t know but there I was in this place for more than 3 days parents not knowing what had happen to me. I was at a work shop put on by the ministry of health and JASL and the Sunday of that workshop would be on f these services. I was no confronted with a decision as to weather to go or to go home. I chose to go the night before the service I prayed and asked the lord to do something. If this is a place of worship let me feel your presence here in this place. That Sunday morning one of the coordinator who was on the verge of migrating called me to say to me that there is a need for a new coordinator for the Ocho Rios chapter and he saw that I would be a perfect candidate for the job. Without second guessing I said yes.

That Sunday I walked into SUNSHINE CATHEDRAL JAMAICA and there for the very first time I was in a church that had all gay people there. That worship service I proved that almighty God was present there and from that day I started searching for the truth and thanks be to the Almighty One, I can boldly say there is therefore now no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus ……. For God so love the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. This is a promise of God and the word of God states that before God goes back on his word Heaven and earth pass away. That is the new found promise that I have come to and accept as my source of strength. To date I am the Administrative Assistant of the JAMAICA SUNSHINE CATHEDRAL national body.

Contributed by Anthony