Another sex tape another fall

Another Sex Tape another Fall, how many of these I can’t recall, I’ve lost count with so much out there but should we care?

Even as the remnants of the Tall Bottle Crew sex tape scandal and leaked videos earlier this year in what seemed a healthy anal penetration scene another such report from two other gay men has come to hand. The Bottle crew is still feeling the after effects of that slip up as they are easily recognised due to high visibility in the dancehall and find it hard to be out in public and threats have been sent their way personally and on various platforms, especially Instagram since then unofficially two cases of a similar nature occurred but details are sketchy. One thing is clear to me is that more and more persons are deliberately capturing their sex but not with a view for spillage I imagine; leakages are the collateral damage consequence.

To think this latest case came on of all seasons Easter on Holy Thursday at that; one party had apparently arranged a hook up with the other party but a third player was in the space and whipped out his phone to see the supposed dick down.

In previous posts I had highlighted the fallouts and unintended outings by way of social media as LGBT visibility grew by leaps and bounds, so by virtue of that accidents were bound to happen as social media skills would have been extremely low especially on Facebook at first. This recent case however started on Instagram where it was announced by a younger gay user, the demographic attracted to that platform; which eventually sent persons scampering to a certain porn site for to see the session between the two men. Problem was that the clip was effectively hacked by some smart whiz kid and thus the viral element was exacted shared all over the place.

A copy was sent my way which is how I came into knowledge of the latest drama, there is never a dull day but one of the parties involved has since been forced into self imposed exile similarly to the aforementioned Tall Bottle Crew members and talk of seeking asylum are floating around, I am not so sure they have an easy ride given the genesis of the troubles. Just a day or so after the guys involved are meeting up on all kinds of issues despite their popularity was not like the Tall Bottle Crew. 

Threats on Instagram, voice notes/WhatsAPP videos also with threats and has gotten to the point where the guys had to relocate to another friend’s house. One of the parties involved is from deep rural Jamaica so he is able to escape some of the nonsense, the supposed ‘cameraman’ had since been in hiding as he is blamed for the leak by the other two and their friends; it may not be as simple as they think. Videos and data on smartphone can be hacked if one does not make the settings work for them. It gets worse the smartphone security software are not installed or the firewalls as in place to offer some protection.

Other privacy settings too may not have been in place but with Donald Trump’s executive order on privacy thus leaving all being exposed to advertisers and hackers alike to see your location or even hack passwords and break into the phone storage. The ‘cameraman’ is on the run and a planned beat down is being planned if he is caught as punishment. Facebook fallouts are also still happing just by a cursory unscientific poll I ran prior to the preparation of this post. The latest on was a Clarendonian youngster in his early twenties and another case in St James. One can conclude that these latest errors may be teething pains for an LGBT community that once was not so visible but one would have expected older persons like myself to be making mistakes more so that the millennials.

Some suggestions and tips

If one is going to document ones frolic one should secure the material as best as possible which could include passwording the file(s) in question or lock them away in a secure folder, also check whether or not one may have inadvertently left the Bluetooth on by mistake or by choosing where one shares the materials as newer APPS are now out there to simply rip the shared or played footage without the owners’ knowledge only to see it all over the place. It is all too easy to hack into or end up with leaks so steps must be taken to handle sensitive materials in storage. Platform settings also are a key component as well in terms of profile settings and such which can help to mitigate the possibility of accidents occurring.

Why oh why would persons capture and save repeatedly sex scenes or orgies, is it a part of the new narcissistic psychology linked to social media? All this happening when the very social media is facilitating a couch potato mentality and less contact in person with others. Normally the whole sex tape phenomenon was seen as an American phenomenon in the world of celebrities, locally there was the infamous early revenge porn case of a former female banking employee whose scorned lover deliberately shared the videos and photos but hardly any legal action could have been taken by her as revenge porn legislation is not on the books but defamation legislation is here however. She has since relocated to the United States. Another two gay men found themselves in some major trouble after a leak in 2015, a family member of one of the parties had to be moving about here and there bordering on homelessness but he was able to settle, his face was in full view of the clip at the time which made his defence it wasn’t him fall on disbelieving ears. One has to be so careful and personally that damned phone has to be off and or not in your hand if we are going to hookup; I will definitely not agree to any shooting of footage during the game only for it to reach in the public domain.

Meanwhile

Unconfirmed reports revealed since this latest case also suggests that a blackmail attempt matter carried over from 2016 has been ongoing given a previously stolen phone with sensitive content is being used as a dangling carrot by the thieves to get money from the phone’s owner who is said to be a businessman. He has not made any payments we are told but frankly I don’t believe that. The extortion attempt is said to be linked to a ring of gay phone stealers who are in cahoots with heterosexual miscreants as well who want some $150,000.00 in return for the instrument. The implications for a leak like that can be grave to include loss of reputation, business downturn as clients see the clips that can go viral in a few minutes. The businessman is said to be reluctant to report the matter to the cops as they would have to open the phone or get passwords to verify its ownership and may have legal implications given the buggery law.

Finally while I cannot tell consenting adults what to do may I suggest persons be ultra careful with the use of smartphones, sex and safety.

Happy hunting

Peace & tolerance

H

Poor social media navigation still causing fallouts

As social media platforms become the more accepted form of expression from a local perspective older, some younger or inexperienced users are learning the hard way. Even as Facebook is still seen as the master of the social media avenues and other micro blogging platforms such as Twitter play near catch up alongside Instagram for the more hip youngsters it seems the excitement of it all is somehow causing mistakes to be made and inadvertent outings by users is leading to all kinds of clashes and even forced evictions. While social media has helped greatly in raising the visibility of LGBT people in Jamaica and enhances networking indeed online based advocacy and interventions it has come with some unintended consequences if one is not careful. Bearing in mind we are coming from the days of exclusion, mainstream media omissions and obfuscation and homo-negative stigma. Only privileged so called ‘uptowners’ who penned articles & letters to the editors of print media while some columnists such as Jennifer Ffrench(actual spelling) tried their hands at matters on bisexuality and so on. We did not have blogs then and computers so it was an Olympia typewriter for example that was used by outfits then such as Gay Freedom Movement, GFM. 2016 there were three such reports, with one confirmed that came to hand and the simplicity of the matters may have looked just that, simple; they however exploded into something else as arguments ensue and things got physical in one case in St Ann.

The business of profiling persons due to their perceived sexual orientation by watching the gender of the likes of photos or comments, comparing how many women if any are on the publicly listed friends’ list, screenshots and archiving of comments only to have them surface in the future if and when an argument ensues as proof that they ‘knew all along’ there was a series of online workshops in 2015 and again in 2016 by some but of course the usual lack of continuity is the deterrent and as previous posts on this blog tried to accomplish some feedback suggested some folks took heed. There needs to be a sustained intervention of some kind with funding or not as it does not require that so much, but with some folks everything must have a stipend or salary before they act which is what spoils or indeed drastically slow any work that is required.

Quick cases summary:

1). St Catherine a young man was forced to relocate to a rented space after a relative checked his Facebook page just after the platform changed how persons profiles appear, the new introduction section on top of one’s work history he apparently placed words to the effect that he was gay and proud; in doing so without filtering who he wanted to see the declaration such as relatives it all came out. The relative, an aunt made a scene of the matter and although she is older she recently acquired a smartphone and is still learning how to navigate same. She demanded the young man find his own space as she was not going to tolerate any ‘battyman’ at her house. The man’s other family are overseas.

2). The proverbial leaving the device/phone unattended happenings, this one in early 2016, the phone was peered into and messages perused, Instagram and Facebook profiles examined and the male relative who did so went as far as to create a fake profile with a muscled torso as the main picture leading to sending a friends’ request to the male owner of the phone. The man fell for the request and responded positively to the request without first verifying who the person behind it was. Weeks later the man in question found himself getting violent messages and a female relative could almost recount what he commented on, which photos he liked and asked why did he have so many men on his friends’ list, she was also furious that he had a profile of this nature but never added her and instead added her to a more pristine profile instead. The man simply went to crash with a friend and allowed things to die down.

3). A carry over from a 2015 matter with a similar profiling construct around it, this time with an older gentleman as the impacted person. It was a co-worker who was the homophobe involved but ironically that co-worker has since been fired for other reasons outside of the hate. The co-worker was watching the man’s Facebook profile for some time and as he posted links to various stories that were LGBT friendly. It was another co-worker who pulled the man aside and told him in confidence about the shenanigans of the now fired homophobe. Thankfully that one did not end up in worse case scenario but it shows how easy a simple use or misuse of a profile can land people in challenges.

Questionable narcissism

As visibility is raised however there are some concerns about the near frenzy some persons share almost anything on social media; in almost a desperate search for attention or the misguidedly valued ‘Like’ as I said much to the laughter of a group recently the only thing I have not seen yet are photos of persons leaving the pieces in the porcelain after use but I guess that would be not allowed by the platform managers. Uploading photos of food for example and such at a rate that is astonishing sometimes it makes for worry and wonderment as to when do persons find time to things in the real world or engage real people when individuals including and most disturbingly LGBT operatives and advocates as it were post and tweet away like crazy. Is it to compensate for the missing years of tolerance or acceptance by others? While I understand that it does something for the self to be out and proud (relatively speaking) it is going beyond crazy at times; changing photos every hour almost on the hour, tweets that amount to be mindless inane babble and shade throwing the biggest one of them all while presenting what could amount to be a farce of altered or bettered versions of themselves. It is something that has been on my mind since 2012 after what could be described as a dual personality related matter where the online persona was nowhere near the true picture in real time.

That case had some consequences as well and it pushed some to ask persons to be just a little bit more truthful about their profiles and such.

Some social media usage tips: (several others exist elsewhere)

1) Monitor carefully your profile as best as possible

2) Set boundaries just in case

3) Filter your friends’ list or followers to maybe include those who are able to see what is on your page/profile

4) Occasionally check your settings as sometimes a policy change and or new features added tend to adjust ones profile to a system default, often without notice from the platform operators

5) Block persons the moment there is drama and if necessary screenshot any threats and so on if made

6) Set up private pages with persons with like interests as members so as to avoid others on your main profile to become just a little bit too inquisitive

Other platforms such as GRINDr have been having their own challenges as well, as a recent fake profile incident shows, the profile’s owner became the brunt of the joke in the final analysis as he was led into an entrapment of sorts after robbing a phone from someone after a one nigh hookup. Deceptive THOTS and trade MSM are everywhere and they will use any means necessary to hustle. Adam for Adam is still used but not so much by millennials as older men like myself; they have since stepped up their game though in terms of security/verification features alongside a strengthened phone-APP to meet the competition out there. Tagged also has been quietly making some changes too.

More anon and happy hunting with vigilant usage

Peace & tolerance

H

also see:

Dubious Adam4Adam Profiles, Unscrupulous Sports, Gay Imposters, Robberies 

The THOT of the walk who is oral

More on power bottoms ....................

Cyber bullying, stigmatization, decency and such

Bareback popularity concerns

Given the Safer Sex Week activities and some issues raised in a previous post on this blog on barebacking in anal sex I and indeed some others have concerns. It has surfaced also that some HIV positive men who feel that they do not need to practice safer sex anymore as they are already positive simply enjoy sex in a kind of complacency or abandonment thinking that once they are positive once then that is it; there is no need for vigilance, risk assessments and avoidance of re-infections of other strains of HIV which can be more deleterious to one’s immune system. Albeit that a trend cannot simply be designated within a year or without strong empirical data but cultural practices however can be used as a sign or guide to said trends developing. Just a cursory glance at some private groups on social media or WhatsAPP for that matter or other platforms such as AdamforAdam and hookup sites/blogs suggest more and more men are openly requesting bareback fun even while declaring their HIV positive status, once kept ultra private, it is as if it is a badge of honour to be HIV positive these days and surviving which maybe encouraging to a certain extent but all too risky in other realms. This may be outside of bug chasing or chasers.

Millennials for example have been declaring discomfort with condoms (an old criticism) and with readily available anal hygiene and enema cleansing products in local pharmacies and sex toy shops for example buffered by a kind of legitimization of barebacking in black gay porn men are daring themselves for share pleasure it seems while ignoring that risks are still high despite better working antiretrovirals and that HIV/AIDS is not a death sentence. 

As for the FEMIDOM female condom as an alternative suggested to be used with the inner ring removed that is now being laughed at or scoffed at as the device is deemed too cumbersome and too thick which may be less comforting during sex; with the outer ring also hanging outside seeing it is larger than the rest of the device some say it is like screwing a condom instead of an anus. Indeed this is a sentiment expressed also by older men as well who simply dismiss the FEMIDOM as a balloon to be blown up or used for something else.

also see: Female Condom (FEMIDOM 2) recommended for Gay Sex

The short lived Origami condoms for example that were supposedly designed for anal sex specifically seemed to be off or discontinued despite a launch campaign and an awareness program online, the uniquely shaped and grooved surface is supposed to enhance pleasure for the wearer and the receptive partner as well probably the latter more so; given the mucosal riddled sphincter area and lower opening with millions or nerve endings. Also see: World’s first condom specifically designed for anal sex 2013 and Origami Condom Delayed Due to Embezzlement

Hookup demands

from GMSH

My own experience recently with a mystery stalker of sorts who found the number on one of my blogs publicly listed where he repeatedly asked for a hookup of sorts (despite not knowing me) and declaring he wanted it “raw” meaning penetration without any barrier or a condom. While it is tempting to do same as the good old 1980s for example in the height of the sexual revolution somebody needs to remind or inform men who have sex with men, MSM in the form of anal penetration that HIV is still out there.

Complacency or near fatalism

The heightened HIV social marketing through Global Fund funded efforts nationally and other NGO work has helped but seems to hurt the thinking and sensibilities involved. Persons have concluded that if I am going to die from HIV it won’t happen soon because I can live long with just a tablet a day similar to other lifestyle diseases as diabetes or hypertension but what some folks seem to overlook or ignore or are unaware of or not properly informed in support groups are that there are several other strains of HIV which while one may be positive with one strain that does not impair their immune systems the newer strain can be far more harmful and only seek to reduce one’s immune system to stay sustained. That ‘I am going to enjoy my life’ thinking no matter what is still out there if one is to go by the comments on blogs and porn related fora on social media. Yes the ARVs or HAART treatments are effective in terms of control of Viral loads and improved CD4 counts but missing dosages too can be a challenge; a point that was forcefully made recently on Facebook by an advocate to a young man who insisted he was going to “Fuck til mi dead”

Hot pumped gym and tattoed bodies, well endowed persons coupled with objectification and just the sheer excitement for younger MSM can turn persons into tongue wagging excited persons who end up making wrong or misguided decisions about sex in the heat of the moment. Sadly the Safer Sex Week impetus is near silent on anal sex between men publicly and seem to want to the rely on the hetero-normative sexual relations psychology to trickle over into gay culture. That type of messaging does seem to be getting through to some, I have heard some men say that when they are with a woman they use condoms with them but when they are with a man they don’t as anal sex is better to them in terms of feelings and the ‘grip factor’ and that includes men who do not identify as gay, given that the concept of the word for some is loaded woman aspiring oriented and so called thugs do not want to be a woman but they still hit ass under the radar. There are other psychologies involved stemming from the prison systems as in prison wife culture, gay for the stay psychology and indeed curiosity that seems to be overlooked by the folks who design these fluffy, sometimes simplistic and patronizing sounding campaigns.

Those intersectionalities with gay men who self identify and those men who don’t with the latter thinking that bareback sex is an escape from reality and therefore no thought of risk must interfere cannot be left out of the mix. There are men out there who really believe that they are not at risk once I do it with a men in secret and that the secret albeit without a condom will not expose them to HIV risk; whilst seeing heterosexual sex as the one to use a condom with an outside female partner other than the babymother or wife. At some point there has to be a reality check and a tie-in of those sub cultural matters.

Touching the anal hygiene matter hinted above while the ‘hole maybe clean’ there is the business of that hole being ‘too clean’ meaning the so called good bacteria maybe washed away if one is not too careful, although the self adjusting PH balance Fleet enemas products for example are out there to help to avoid that destruction of those bacteria if one uses other non traditional forms of cleansing the area is exposed without physiological defences naturally. Barebacking especially almost immediately after a cleansing or enema exercise can leave one open to infection if the penetrating partner is infected to transmission of STI including HIV. There are persons who believe that a clean hole by virtue of it being ‘clean’ of faecal matter and odours that all is well afterwards for penetration. Some persons suggest that even rimming (using the tongue to stimulate or even penetrate the anus/sphincter muscle) is OK after an enema but I surmise that a simple pleasurable rim session will not just end there, at some point someone is going to be probed to the ultimate pleasure of it.

The gay porn industry is thriving on bareback for sales even while showing disclaimers in the opening sequence of DVDs and streams identifying HIV risking and encouraging testing and single partners; the challenge is that that disclaimer only runs for a 30 second or so period while the rest of the movie sometimes up to two hours long is all about the ass and dick of it thus almost killing the important message.

Antigay (un)bareback anal sex abhorrence

The very bareback issue and the sex police of religious fanatics have sought to capitalise on the matter to enhance their push for maintaining a 486 year old buggery law with all its amendments and adjustments in between. Anal sex bareback or not is not the untidy affair as some such as Dr Wayne West of the Jamaica Coalition for a Healthy Society JCHS has sought to present it to his loyal following and misguided or ignorant persons. He has sought to use the thin lining nature of the area to suggest we are deserving of an HIV as the transmission will be greater which is true but so it is also for the vagina provided if the penetrating partner is already positive. But intellectual dishonesty is part and parcel of the strategy even by so called Christians who misplace God’s purpose to promote hate.

Encourage monogamous or outer-course sexual activity as an option more

Even monogamous unions with uninfected partners and trust have to also consider safer sex issues I suggest; as safety and hygiene are crucial especially the latter but I get the impression that such other considerations are not part and parcel of the MSM interventions more forcefully. Suggesting non-penetrative sexual activity via a penis seems all but missing from the scheme of things is one is to take into account the discourse on sexual matters with younger MSM. I have been trying via my blogs to promote proper anal health but one blogger is not enough and I do not get the feeling

The message has to be repeated more loudly in terms of the risks involved and more openly about barebacking; after all buggery is not proven by mere eyesight but a physical examination by a doctor providing that the accused did not take a shower or enema in between the accusation, the arrest or detention pursuant to preparing the doctors’ report; a report premised on the thinking of no barrier sex and residual materials left behind in or around the anus or sphincter muscle. The doctor’s report unfortunately even in today’s world is still prepared on a thinking of no condoms used in the act in the first instance, it is usually after the examination or during that the harvested samples or culture related spermicidal findings that in the comments section of the standard form the doctor may make a note of the presence of spermicidal material to indicate a condom was present. The reluctance by the NGOs and the national program to openly speak to anal penetration way more forcefully seems a little ridiculous or near unfounded to me in addressing risky behaviour linked to men who are going that route for sexual pleasure.

More anon

Peace & tolerance

H

also see:

Safer rimming or anilingus .......... tips & suggestions

Anal sex mistakes gay men makes ..... some suggestions 

Anal: Should you go back there? 

Oh really! ............ Penile/anal penetration is NOT SEX Jamaica Coalition for a Healthy Society?

Modern gay love, dating apps & deception wrapped in homophobia

As smart phones takes the place of many activities in our lives as there is an app for almost every darned thing these days from car wash services to booty call or hook-ups or even scamming where the infamous lotto scammers in trying to get serious cash also use the technology. Kinda knock some of the fun from the real deal sometimes but be that as it may I have posted before on deceptive hook-ups gone bad and fake Adam4adam profiles leading to some serious entrapment issues and even kidnapping. 

also see: Dubious Adam4Adam Profiles, Unscrupulous Sports, Gay Imposters, Robberies & Safety ..2014 and Cruising posts fro GLBTQ Jamaica (newer posts will appear first)

I am coming from the good old days of face to face links and a one off cruising jack off and or good one night stand but from a place of spontaneity which is so much the better for judging someone than using social media, online or dating apps.

Meeting through mutual friend is way better yah man.

To be armed with an industrial size fishing net that can fit in one’s pocket is ok in modern times but face to face is still the best for me and anyone can pose as a mystery date of muscular thug trying to lure one into a meeting or fuck; a reported Instagram based near miss attack last year just reminds us the dangers involved despite the wider availability and outness of young LGBT people who sometimes openly flirt on Facebook ( believe me I have had my share as recent as a couple days ago); it’s one thing to ask basic questions it’s a whole ‘nother ballgame when just by my photos or videos a total stranger can ask me if I want a one night moment or big is my dick or if I am a top or bottom or versatile. 

The biggest question I get most of all is how old am I? My birthday was on February five and at 43 I am a little tired of being told I look so young or do not look my age; yes I am flattered but sometimes it is just too much ammunition for an inappropriate approach as I am a little old fashioned in terms of intrigue and suspense or mystery thrill of the flirt. Frankly sometimes the welcome is warm and the flattery effusive.

It is easy to say things to someone behind a bubble on a screen and imaging and typerize in a sense fantasies that one will say in a face to face meeting, although the internet is a democratizing advantage it is also an echo chamber so to speak for bullshit such as profiling, fake pics, alter egos for so called felt lack or perfection, objectification issues which can sometimes lead to physical prejudice & stereotyping based on pre-conceived ideas of what one wants. One good thing at least for me as I try to navigate the newer technologies is that allows me options and I do use my photos and not a fake or pseudonyms save and except for my hookup activity. As my regular readers know by now I am not a one man’s man and relationships are not my thing despite I am asked to mediate challenges in that department for others.

also see: Sexting Basics: What You Need To Know Before You Press Send 2016

I am from the nineties days of the advent of Adam4adam to text chatrooms to WhatsApp; I can remember the good old days of phone dating services, phone sex matters and early JFLAG hotline services which I used to man and log the calls; inappropriately callers would literally call looking for a one night hookup, a jack off session outside of the main reason for the line in logging stigma & discrimination. Outlets then for release of sexual tension were far and few in between. 

Then came pages such as Rainbowvibes, my own GLBTQ Jamaica NING page (now defunct) where they were private match up groups and so on with fortunately a psychologist was part of my membership then who assisted when requested in matters and referrals for serious matters. Facebook now also has its fair share of guy to guy hook-ups and even a forward thinking bisexual group although the backlash from gay and lesbian folks to bisexuals as confused still bothers me. 

Now Gaydar is a fast rising online and dating App for Jamaicans as I tried it some time ago and nearly every taste is allowed. Grindr is doing well for now but it looks too plain to me and not exciting and covert identities can hide out and who knows what dangers lie behind hot torsos or thick dicks or a tight hairless asshole beckoning to stick your tongue or dick in it. Someone introduced me to Gay Romeo which looks cute but it’s mostly African guys who seem to populate the profiles as black men than locals or African Americans; maybe they do not know it so much yet.

Lesbians are also having some issues based on reports who also meet fakers so to speak and seems not to have caught on for that cohort as for men, I guess the spontaneity of man on man sex devoid of talk first, sex later considerations that delay hook-ups I imagine. For some women it helps it seems to monitor while using the search freedoms and allows online relationships from all accounts and cybersex used to cement the release factor. 

The aforementioned near miss Instagram case report (#gaydating) had the subject posting photos on Facebook of the matter with some minor injuries after a tussle and rightfully warning others of the ordeal and dangers involved. With some men generally still thinking male homosexuality as taboo whilst attaching money for sex and discreetness if indulged in; blackmail with a report I had not posted on my blog by request of the victim he was ambushed even as he got naked with the initial date; it turns out it was a gang of thugs posing as gays with the main actor playing the role of luring unsuspecting men at hotels or guest houses. Demands of thousands of dollars are not uncommon or several cases I have seen, worked on or heard of where motor vehicles and other valuables in the quest for untold wealth in their eyes at any cost.

I would advise to look for signs of either unstable folks, aggressiveness, inordinate demands as early warnings that something is obviously off. 

Nuff love

Peace & tolerance

H 

also see:

‘Tek yuh bomboclaat out a mi house battyman’ from Facebook fallout

Another young gay man is outed via Facebook 2013

Facebook & unintentional outings to family members .. 2012

Warning!: Fake Facebook pics and hookup dangers 2011