also see: Dubious Adam4Adam Profiles, Unscrupulous Sports, Gay Imposters, Robberies & Safety ..2014 and Cruising posts fro GLBTQ Jamaica (newer posts will appear first)
I would advise to look for signs of either unstable folks, aggressiveness, inordinate demands as early warnings that something is obviously off.
I am coming from the good old days of face to face links and a one off cruising jack off and or good one night stand but from a place of spontaneity which is so much the better for judging someone than using social media, online or dating apps.
Meeting through mutual friend is way better yah man.
To be armed with an industrial size fishing net that can fit in one’s pocket is ok in modern times but face to face is still the best for me and anyone can pose as a mystery date of muscular thug trying to lure one into a meeting or fuck; a reported Instagram based near miss attack last year just reminds us the dangers involved despite the wider availability and outness of young LGBT people who sometimes openly flirt on Facebook ( believe me I have had my share as recent as a couple days ago); it’s one thing to ask basic questions it’s a whole ‘nother ballgame when just by my photos or videos a total stranger can ask me if I want a one night moment or big is my dick or if I am a top or bottom or versatile.
Meeting through mutual friend is way better yah man.
To be armed with an industrial size fishing net that can fit in one’s pocket is ok in modern times but face to face is still the best for me and anyone can pose as a mystery date of muscular thug trying to lure one into a meeting or fuck; a reported Instagram based near miss attack last year just reminds us the dangers involved despite the wider availability and outness of young LGBT people who sometimes openly flirt on Facebook ( believe me I have had my share as recent as a couple days ago); it’s one thing to ask basic questions it’s a whole ‘nother ballgame when just by my photos or videos a total stranger can ask me if I want a one night moment or big is my dick or if I am a top or bottom or versatile.
The biggest question I get most of all is how old am I? My birthday was on February five and at 43 I am a little tired of being told I look so young or do not look my age; yes I am flattered but sometimes it is just too much ammunition for an inappropriate approach as I am a little old fashioned in terms of intrigue and suspense or mystery thrill of the flirt. Frankly sometimes the welcome is warm and the flattery effusive.
It is easy to say things to someone behind a bubble on a screen and imaging and typerize in a sense fantasies that one will say in a face to face meeting, although the internet is a democratizing advantage it is also an echo chamber so to speak for bullshit such as profiling, fake pics, alter egos for so called felt lack or perfection, objectification issues which can sometimes lead to physical prejudice & stereotyping based on pre-conceived ideas of what one wants. One good thing at least for me as I try to navigate the newer technologies is that allows me options and I do use my photos and not a fake or pseudonyms save and except for my hookup activity. As my regular readers know by now I am not a one man’s man and relationships are not my thing despite I am asked to mediate challenges in that department for others.
I am from the nineties days of the advent of Adam4adam to text chatrooms to WhatsApp; I can remember the good old days of phone dating services, phone sex matters and early JFLAG hotline services which I used to man and log the calls; inappropriately callers would literally call looking for a one night hookup, a jack off session outside of the main reason for the line in logging stigma & discrimination. Outlets then for release of sexual tension were far and few in between.
It is easy to say things to someone behind a bubble on a screen and imaging and typerize in a sense fantasies that one will say in a face to face meeting, although the internet is a democratizing advantage it is also an echo chamber so to speak for bullshit such as profiling, fake pics, alter egos for so called felt lack or perfection, objectification issues which can sometimes lead to physical prejudice & stereotyping based on pre-conceived ideas of what one wants. One good thing at least for me as I try to navigate the newer technologies is that allows me options and I do use my photos and not a fake or pseudonyms save and except for my hookup activity. As my regular readers know by now I am not a one man’s man and relationships are not my thing despite I am asked to mediate challenges in that department for others.
also see: Sexting Basics: What You Need To Know Before You Press Send 2016
I am from the nineties days of the advent of Adam4adam to text chatrooms to WhatsApp; I can remember the good old days of phone dating services, phone sex matters and early JFLAG hotline services which I used to man and log the calls; inappropriately callers would literally call looking for a one night hookup, a jack off session outside of the main reason for the line in logging stigma & discrimination. Outlets then for release of sexual tension were far and few in between.
Then came pages such as Rainbowvibes, my own GLBTQ Jamaica NING page (now defunct) where they were private match up groups and so on with fortunately a psychologist was part of my membership then who assisted when requested in matters and referrals for serious matters. Facebook now also has its fair share of guy to guy hook-ups and even a forward thinking bisexual group although the backlash from gay and lesbian folks to bisexuals as confused still bothers me.
Now Gaydar is a fast rising online and dating App for Jamaicans as I tried it some time ago and nearly every taste is allowed. Grindr is doing well for now but it looks too plain to me and not exciting and covert identities can hide out and who knows what dangers lie behind hot torsos or thick dicks or a tight hairless asshole beckoning to stick your tongue or dick in it. Someone introduced me to Gay Romeo which looks cute but it’s mostly African guys who seem to populate the profiles as black men than locals or African Americans; maybe they do not know it so much yet.
Lesbians are also having some issues based on reports who also meet fakers so to speak and seems not to have caught on for that cohort as for men, I guess the spontaneity of man on man sex devoid of talk first, sex later considerations that delay hook-ups I imagine. For some women it helps it seems to monitor while using the search freedoms and allows online relationships from all accounts and cybersex used to cement the release factor.
Lesbians are also having some issues based on reports who also meet fakers so to speak and seems not to have caught on for that cohort as for men, I guess the spontaneity of man on man sex devoid of talk first, sex later considerations that delay hook-ups I imagine. For some women it helps it seems to monitor while using the search freedoms and allows online relationships from all accounts and cybersex used to cement the release factor.
The aforementioned near miss Instagram case report (#gaydating) had the subject posting photos on Facebook of the matter with some minor injuries after a tussle and rightfully warning others of the ordeal and dangers involved. With some men generally still thinking male homosexuality as taboo whilst attaching money for sex and discreetness if indulged in; blackmail with a report I had not posted on my blog by request of the victim he was ambushed even as he got naked with the initial date; it turns out it was a gang of thugs posing as gays with the main actor playing the role of luring unsuspecting men at hotels or guest houses. Demands of thousands of dollars are not uncommon or several cases I have seen, worked on or heard of where motor vehicles and other valuables in the quest for untold wealth in their eyes at any cost.
I would advise to look for signs of either unstable folks, aggressiveness, inordinate demands as early warnings that something is obviously off.
Nuff love
Peace & tolerance
H
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