Crime of passion linked to August Town shooting, transvestite said to be involved

Subject to updates

A woman is in police custody this afternoon in connection with the murder of a 52-year-old man in August Town, St. Andrew.

The man has been identified as Trevor Grey.

Grey is from the Queen Road area of Maxfied Avenue in lower St. Andrew. He was shot and killed last night in an area in August Town known as Griz Close.

It’s understood that he was attacked by a group of women to include a couple transvestites who pass very well and other women who got involved in the melee in a fit of jealous rage as the deceased was set to be involved in a liaison with one of the women involved.

Head of the Corporate Communications Unit CCU, Superintendent Stephanie Lindsay, this afternoon confirmed the arrest.

The woman is to be questioned by the police.

Member of Parliament for East Rural St Andrew Fayval Williams (left) presents a 'zero murder' shirt to recording artiste and long-time August Town resident Miguel 'Sizzla' Collins.

Mr. Grey’s killing is the third in August Town since the beginning of this year. The peace efforts were pushed by artists such as the antigay Sizzla Kolanji who was sited in a public function marking the achievement earlier this year.

There were no murders in August Town during 2016. Earlier this year this happened as well:

 August Town has recorded its first murder of the year.

The murder comes on the heels of last week’s celebrations, when community members and stakeholders rejoiced about a one-year streak without recording a murder in the community.

Police say that a man identified as Damion Lewis, 25, of Love Lane in the community, was shot dead by an unknown assailant at the intersection of Bedward Crescent and July Road, yesterday.

The August Town police say that about 6:25 pm, Lewis was walking along the roadway with a friend when upon reaching the intersection, they were pounced upon by a lone man armed with a gun. The man shot Lewis.

When the police got to the location, Lewis was taken to hospital where he was pronounced dead.

Peace & tolerance

H

Rihanna’s “Love on The Brain” & the ‘He beats me ‘cause he loves me’ issue

I was listening to the captioned song by Miss RiRi as one of the newer remixes out there as a promo and it hit me like a ton of bricks the song is actually about what appears to be tolerated abuse by the victim while supposedly being ‘in love’. The original recording is a little difficult to hear the vocals clearly as it is a rock sounding track and the guitar tends to overshadow other elements of the tune. As Jamaica is undergoing a rather bizarre set of cases of abuse and or intimate partner violence episodes with some awful outcomes this is not the kind of song we should be processing right now frankly, sadly it is extremely popular even on the LGBT circuit at parties circuit and it bothers me. The old ‘he beats me because he loves me’ thinking is very much alive; whenever others try to intervene or when the abused individual visits the police station for example they file a report, then change their minds afterwards and try to justify with the beat for love narrative, hence leaving the cops to effectively stop following the matter.

The opening stanza of the song is enough to tell us as to what it is about and frankly I have retired it from my playlists and sets.

The lyrics are as follows:

And you got me like oh

What you want from me?

What you want from me?

And I tried to buy your pretty heart, but the price too high

Baby, you got me like oh, mm

You love when I fall apart, fall apart

So you can put me together

And throw me against the wall

Baby, you got me like ah, woo, ah

Don't you stop loving me, loving me

Don't quit loving me, loving me

Just start loving me, loving me, babe

Oh, and, babe, I'm fist fighting with fire

Just to get close to you

Can we burn something, babe?

And I run for miles just to get a taste

Must be love on the brain

That's got me feeling this way

It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good

And I can't get enough

Must be love on the brain, yeah

And it keeps cursing my name, cursing my name

No matter what I do

I'm no good without you

And I can't get enough

Must be love on the brain

Then you keep loving me

Just love me, yeah

Just love me

All you need to do is love me yeah

Got me like ah-ah-ah-ow

I'm tired of being played like a violin

What do I gotta do to get in your motherfuckin' heart?

Baby, like ah, woo, ah

Don't you stop loving me, loving me

Don't quit loving me, loving me

Just start loving me, loving me, babe

Oh, and, babe, I'm fist fighting with fire

Just to get close to you

Can we burn something, babe?

And I run for miles just to get a taste

Must be love on the brain

That's got me feeling this way

It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good

And I can't get enough

Must be love on the brain

And it keeps cursing my name, cursing my name

No matter what I do

I'm no good without you

And I can't get enough

Must be love on the brain

That a mainstream artist as young as Rihanna is handed or forced to do a song such as this to perform to mostly young(er) impressionable fans that gobble up materials without the requisite checks and balances should be of concern. I am assuming that Miss RiRi and management are tied into a contract that may basically say sing what we give you or else, of course in a subtle form. I have been digging other new songs from her such as “Needed Me” & “Sex With Me” and spinning them in my sets both clean and explicit versions; although the latter is a little racy and more for adults but it does not promote violence directly although the “ .....switch on a fake nigga like a station..” line is kind of hinting towards black ghetto life and belittling hypermasculinity/bravado; the use of the word “nigga” is well known to many that that means a gangster or as in our case the dons. The redeeming line follows however in a sense “Vodka & water and a lemon and a few other things I cannot mention,” which seems to retrieve the dignity aspect of the track. While there is an ongoing national uproar about whether dancehall is influencing violence as life imitate art or vice versa (if one can call some of the stuff these days art) here is a big pop song brought in quietly over the mainstream and played on radio.

Same gender liaisons challenges

The unanswered question of the age for me is why would someone who is the subject of abuse outside of a co-dependency issue stay in said union and take it and then when it comes to crunch time the justification is ‘he beats me because he loves me?’ do not for one minute believe that this a hetero-normative construct only because it’s definitely not; especially when there is the aforementioned co-dependency matter at work. A poorer gay man versus a monied or privileged man in a liaison and the main driver is not necessarily sex but also control as the motivator which can lead to abuse. The lesser powered man is sometimes forced to take all kinds of abuse including sexual, psychological and violence against his person re-emphasizing the dependency element; while he may have some difficulty reporting same to a police station; he may be the brunt of humiliation, homophobia or simply ignored by the cops and chased away from the precinct. Once the cops realize it is more a lovers’ quarrel bordering on an old crime of passion mantra one can just walk away or if one is strong enough take it to a higher authority such as the area’s Superintendent and such. It might get a little tricky if there are hints of rape or sexual assault when it comes to two men, a buggery charge might hit one or both if they don’t handle themselves well or have an attorney present to wade through the matter. The lesser charge of grievous sexual assault might also creep into the mix.

There was some attempt via the USAID Comet II training exercise with some cops in 2016 but that only seems to target new recruits and not necessarily the older ones who are set in their ways; after years of very little strong oversight and workshops for capacity building via improved customer service experience. Some changes have come through at certain stations but others the bad habits are still there, but change is usually slow anyway.

Conflict resolution interventions if not far more public awareness programs are needed, despite we have a dispute resolution mechanism and a hotline service they are not promoted enough and the other ones that are out there tend to be more so female based for the most part with the man being the aggressor. Campaigns since the upsurge in intimate partner violence cases are too flat in my view and sound too politically correct, flat and cannot be compared to the strength of the cadence of what dancehall acts for example use in more misogynistic songs. The message has to be firm and placed in a real world context not presented by some middle class person who has never experienced any pain or is in tune with the culture in a far more real way than just an observer in an observational tower or privilege. I was expecting more on the grounds of foreign songs with similar messages to RiRi’s i.e. some rap for example that directly promote violence against women, but what do we do, censorship is an issue as well but there is also responsibility on the part of artists, song writers, producers and so on.

It seems what is popular trumps what is right in the scheme of things when the current hot matter of alleged new recordings of Vybz Kartel while serving a life sentence; it does not seem to matter that Kartel is a convicted murderer indeed the incarceration of him is seen as a stripe of sorts; the deafening silence from the prison authorities is telling when in fact it is only the Tower Street facility aka General Penitentiary, GP that has recording equipment my short time there I remember but they maybe old nowadays as analogue ones i.e. reel to reel tapes device versus newer compact hand held devices such as tablets with a good microphone, auto tune and Q-sound technology does the rest for the post production to finished product; when compared to the voice quality of the ‘new songs’ (or as we are told previously recorded tracks) it suggests that much higher grade of device(s) such as a phone were used. That also speaks to the business ‘contraband’ and what is allowed in and by whom. The subject matter of the ‘new songs’ is telling as most of the songs content are counteraction songs and also dealing with present matters and clashes with other rival artists so it cannot be that these songs are previously recorded materials held in wait for release and sale.

There are other songs even done by female dancehall acts though not popular as some of their male counterparts that hint to the ‘he beats me because he loves me’ mantra. The songs usually have one-liners contained suggesting that there would be no separation in the relationship even though the male in the union may handle the woman rough. Similarly to having a prison sentence or serving time as a stripe of ‘badness’ the physical scars of violence is also sold as a sign misguidedly of a strong relationship. It is almost a confirmation of submitted power to the man probably borne out of years of patriarchy and misogyny well established in dancehall music for example and some early reggae. Other rap songs also have such content and even spew threats to women who say they are ending the relationship there will be violent consequences even as the man has multiple partners sometimes knowingly to the threatened woman. Tracks such Cam’rons “Bitches Aint Shit” from way back in the 2000s though sexually suggestive via the “beat my bitch with a stick” line the threat element comes in where he threatens that if she leaves she’ll get a “dick in her mouth” and so on. Other older rap such as Cash Money Millionaires’ “Project Chick” from the Ballers Rollin’ album is quite clear, similar to Cam’ron is very suggestive as long as the woman is willing to comply at whatever costs, and failure to comply would have serious consequences. I don’t think I need to get into the days of 2 live Crew’s materials they are noted for their misogyny and such.

Artistry and repertoire (A & R) departments these days from record labels seem interested in pushing the envelope in terms of making too pretty or clean imaged females more street credible but are going overboard as music sales still struggle when compared to the days of CDs, vinyl and so on, case in point Miss RiRi herself nearly on the songs on the album are cutting it close designed to make her obviously more edgy. Mariah Carey’s latest video for example looks more like a lingerie advert instead of the polished diva we are used to; it is not the first time she has collaborated with rappers but this new one is kind of a turn off to many as they question why is she going so hard (or her handlers) to match up against younger stars? She is already the queen in certain respects as she really does not need to and while I can appreciate coquettishness to a point there are limits frankly. There is a reason why Diana Ross and the older gurlz have lasted so long without having to show too much leg, cleavage and hips albeit enhanced for some these days.

A word on church hypocrisy

Even as so many disturbing cases involving pastors and men of the cloth accused of inappropriate sexual contact with minors or psychologically weak women with convictions, the way less outrage from the church groups or the very vocal antigay fanatical religious right (who make the rest of the church body look stupid) is telling. This blog is replete with such considerations in previous posts. Where are the stronger public calls for action from within the church body? The responses so far are unimpressive if not unconvincing why are certain antigay groups more focused of child abuse while rightfully so but hardly any protests, marches as in the antigay pro-buggery mass rallies? The hypocrisy indeed the cherry picking is clear yet still. Yet these same groups were worried about a telephone directory cover with an eighties themed dancehall setting which is child’s play compared to the more raunchy aesthetics that come with the genre. They find millions for buggery constitutional challenges while yet declaring we have more churches per square miles yet we have more homeless LGBT and otherwise per square inch more and more on sidewalks and cities. Some of these folks have missed the boat in terms of God’s work and just true tolerance and caring if not forgiveness. Some seem to be more interested in maintaining their silos fed with tithes and offerings while pontificating on piety similar to the Pharisees and Scribes who crucified Jesus using a Roman system. The recently concluded seminar on abuse while condemning child abuse rightfully but from an outside perspective of the ‘church’ on a whole but very little introspection and a call for pastors to recognize their responsibility; the press releases only reiterate that it’s an outside problems by sinners as opposed an internal issue.

Meanwhile

There is a thin line between fantasy on record versus reality as we are learning nationally, the separation is not clear to some given the death threats being thrown via social media predicated on Vybz Kartel worship towards opposition spokesperson on youth Lisa Hanna by a mere suggestion that a review maybe needed as to allowing incarcerated persons to produce and record new music; the rapidity of rapes and abuse even from men of the cloth all so close to each other in terms of timing says to me that things were festering all along and we thought all was well. We really have to begin to consider the lyrical content of some of the songs and calling for bans on radio is one thing but the same tracks in their raw versions are readily available on an ever expanding set of platforms; with smartphone technologies and APPS it is a synch for any youngster these days. There may be legal implications as well in terms of censorship and our charter of rights. Many parents do not check or are able to check the content being technologically naive so all kinds of things can slip by. Then there is the business of the angel at home versus the bad boy/girl wannabe out of parents’ sight.

I think we need to calm for a while first then decide emotion free as possible the way forward but with fans of Kartel still up in arms we have some seriously embedded evil on the national psyche to contend with. For mostly men and bizarrely some women to openly suggest on social media while ignorant to the cyber crimes act Miss Hanna and indeed other persons who agree with her are to die violently or raped as punishment for the Kartel diss even though she widened the comment to other acts in prison is frightening to say the least. Restraint seems all but dead these days as some seem to think they have license to post or say anything online; we are told that the main instigators of the threats are known and the requisite posts (even after deletion) are being gathered to take the requisite prosecutorial actions by the police as empowered under the cyber crimes act.

Another bout of annoucementitis?

Yet again we hear aspirational soundings from politicians and privileged folks and NGOs but the announced strategies to include getting abused persons mostly women to come forward with the needed psycho social support sound nice on the face of it; while also announcing a shelter for battered women (not the first time) when others have been forced to close down due to lack of funding and help from successive governments. I hope not Let us see whether these ideas will ever come to light; case in point the human rights institute that is yet to come, homeless shelters promised but not fulfilled, infirmaries left to languish although places such as the previously structured Womens’ Crisis Centre and others struggle; there was a merger of sorts in 2015/6 but what has come of that new entity that announcements should come about shelters?

This is by no means the end of this. But should there be a ban on songs with this ‘he beats because he loves me’ mantra?

More anon

Peace & tolerance

H

December 9 sentencing for 4 year-old gay lover beheading case in St Ann

In a follow up to a case I have been tracking since 2012 of the beheading of a man in St Ann one of the accused is to be sentenced in the St Ann Home Circuit Court on December 9 after he was convicted of the murder, he is Howard Ricketts, the Office of the Director of Public Prosecution, DPP says Ricketts helped his co accused Neville ‘Garnet’ Lewis murder Burnett Thomas back in March 2012 at his Brown’s Town home in St Ann the deceased was said to have had an intimate relationship with the accused. On the day of his death they had a dispute reportedly Lewis otherwise called ‘Garnet’ accused the deceased Mr Thomas of infecting him with HIV Ricketts testified that on the morning of the incident he saw Lewis use a machete to chop Mr Thomas on the left side of the neck he said then Lewis told him he had to take part in the act.

here was the TVJ report then:

TVJ March 25th Headless Man Story & Suspicions from GLBTQJA 

Rickets said he assisted Lewis to pull Mr Thomas to the bedroom where he then inflicted stab wounds to the chest and intestinal area with a machete as well. Lewis enraged subsequently use the machete to sever the head of Thomas then placed it in a rice bag, police acting on information proceeded to the house where smoke was seen coming from one of the room windows, firemen who also arrived on the scene to extinguish the flames when they discovered the body of a naked headless man lying on his back was seen on the also partially burnt mattress. He was later identified to be Mr Burnett Thomas; the body had several stab wounds with reportedly intestines protruding.

Rickets said in an unsworn statement indicated that he stabbed the deceased approximately three times and that Lewis chopped off the head of the deceased after the incident Ricketts said he was so scared he got dressed and left for work as usual. On March 29, 2012 an eyewitness residing nearby said a foul stench was in the air and went to investigate and found the decomposing head of what appeared to be a male with flies encompassing it in close proximity to their house in Orange Hill District, Brown’s Town St Ann, the head was later identified to be that of the deceased. On April 2, 2012 the accused Howard Ricketts was charged.

When cautioned he said:

“Officer a de boi Garnet cause dis pon mi enuh, a him seh mi fi help and look wah happen”

(Officer is the boy Garnet cause this on me you know, he said I should help him now look what has happened)

On May 26, 2014 Neville ‘Garnet’ Lewis pleaded guilty to murder while his co accused was found guilty late last month.

As word of this case spreads comments continue to conflate crimes of passion beliefs versus reported homophobic driven murders all because of one case, those who supposedly oppose homosexuality of the removal of amendment of the buggery law, it was earlier this year as well we saw a matter in western Jamaica where a teacher was found dead in his house also in a decomposing state and allegations were that a lovers’ quarrel led to the gruesome find as gays are supposedly jealous to the core. One or two murders that may appear to be domestic or intimate partner violence evidence cannot and ought not to be used to justify homophobia indeed condemning the deceased as deserving of their fate; and sometimes done in the name of God bizarrely.

Older more popular murder cases that are kept alive in media given the typed of attention and skewing deliberately or not of the situations and ignorance of gay life altogether; speculation is the driver on the crisis reporting front. Older terms that used to attend was “Sodomatical attack” as an old case in the 80s, September 28 1983 the day of the murder and May 30, 1984 is one such, the judge was scathing in his summation in that case as the man who was murdered as the Chauffeur one Anthony Angus in question was freed on the basis of the usually deceptively used ‘gay panic defense’ by defense council or prosecution and that the accused was ‘entitled to kill in justification’ of the deceased Desmond Schnoor a business also in St Ann as this beheading case, Mr Schnoor’s gun was used to kill him.

Angus testified that he went to the home of Schnoor after being asked to although he may have suspected he was gay and that was the supposed outcome as the business made a move on him, the question then as is now is why did Angus go in the first place if he knew or suspected Schnoor was gay? Sad that in that particular instance what appeared to be a lie to suit the national sentiments on male homosexuality went on to free an accused man; the truth may never have been revealed, there may have been a down-low element in that matter.

More anon

Peace & tolerance

H

also see/listen:

Chopped for girly walk, fingers almost severed in dispute 


Teacher found dead in home, crime of passion is suspected by cops

Oh Uncle Brian ....

Gay panic defense used to gain bail in penis biting case 

Bail offered in wounding case 

Brothers charged for killing suspected gay lover 

Gay on Gay violence on the rise

To out someone because of no sex!

I can’t tell how many times I have heard this nonsense happen and even witnessed one situation at my former residence several years ago while having my own run in subsequently, if someone is not interested in one or in sex for that matter at the time it is requested or being pursued then for God’s sake leave it alone I say, consent is all. Some men especially some ‘thuggy’ or hyper-masculine types feel they can operate on a sex on demand mantra, I must get it when I want it no matter what, even to the point of sexual assault, they call repeatedly with so called ‘lyrics’ similar to how a heterosexual would go after a woman to get her interested and even suggest that he likes men more than women in a bisexual ethos so as to get his intended target’s cooperation.

A St Catherine residence was where this latest episode went down last evening where a young clerk in his mid twenties who lived alone but occasionally entertain buddies and the usual one night stand naughtiness found himself the subject of a ‘loud up’ by a thug who hailed originally from a Kingston address. The man’s claim to fame is supposedly his endowment and he has been praised by many due to its size and look with online photos to boot; he has taken this praise to mean he can now be the cock of the walk it seems and make demands on weaker or softer gay men, especially semi effeminate or effeminate ones, he wants money or to be continuously gifted (need to be mined or financially taken care of) and in return one must pay for the access to the dick.

The impacted man was introduced to the culprit popularly known as ‘Cleveland’ while being tall, muscular and handsome with a deep strong baritone speaking voice his attitude is another matter altogether. How many times have I seen types like this who meet ones approval aesthetically but is rotten to the core behaviourally; one is just not able to find the right mix so easily these days. After the introduction at a party some time before he eventually developed some familiarity over time but started to ask for money and phone credit at first, not a good sign with these hyper-masculine types especially when they are unemployed. They get complacent and once they are entrenched in ones familiarity they stick and stay like a tick hanging on for dear life with expectations that must be met sometimes complete with bravado and embellished bragging rights to colleagues.

Duppy know who fi frighten (Ghosts know who to scare)

‘Cleveland’ who by now had been making visits to the home with another friend by car decided to turn up unannounced at the St Catherine residence, despite he was told and the other friend operates on a prior contact approval protocol as his schedule does not allow for unplanned visits. He turned up none the less and while speaking to the resident gay man as he looked out from his window’s flat ‘Cleveland’ was not pleased with the response he got; the resident while flattered by the attention from ‘Cleveland’ to a certain extent made it clear no intimacy was to be had that night and he should leave, Cleveland in turn accused him of having another man inside the house and that he was being dissed; the man chased him away outlining his prerogative as to who he can allow and not allow in his own house. The culprit did not take kindly to the rebuff and decided to create a scene in the car park of the residence which was met by an almost equally loud and visibly upset resident which lasted for some twenty or so minutes.

Other residents on the block by this time had come out of their homes and both men had an audience; a few of whom hurled the usual homophobic nonsense while others were more concerned with who the man was and were they safe. There were no security guards around but a few residents had remote security services in place by way of panic buttons etc. Others threaten to call the police, ‘Cleveland’ in the meantime sought to use the opportunity to list all the things he knew or suspected of the resident in colourful Jamaican language while seeking to present himself as heterosexual, using the very homophobic terms at his target but the cowering response he expected out of embarrassment was not forthcoming; a part of this report that pleases me most, one has to stand up to some of this nonsense. The young man decided that things had already gone out of whack and he can always relocate if needs be so he in turn made all in earshot that ‘Cleveland’ was also gay and that he wanted money also highlighting that the one time he refused to entertain him he was trying to embarrass him. Some laughter came from the audience section and some reported comments as to how manly the culprit looked with no sign of obvious gayness.

That was when things got more caustic to involve two other males who came out of their houses, one with a machete at one point. ‘Cleveland’ eventually retreated as he soon realised he was fighting a losing battle but left with a threat to the gay resident, claiming he will see him elsewhere to which the man reportedly replied I have nothing to hide. Connected problems on the social front from closeted or behaviourally bisexual men or ‘gay for pay’ types can lead to all kinds of unintended consequences as this matter showed in some respect. I for one made up my mind about those types years ago as hinted in the introduction in dealing with some men who seem to think one is some property or a waling ABM where cash or phones or such must come upon demand or button press, my own case flashed before me when I was residing at Gore Terrace without the gate and security features then but myself and another roommate stood up to a thug who thought he could scare us by outing methods tempered on a homophobic tinge as most of the culprits who try this method seem to think they can get away with it being masculine acting, preying on a perception that most or all gay men are effeminate; that is still scene as a marker for perceived male homosexuals.

The St Catherine man has been advised to relocate eventually just to avoid anything unexpected event from ‘Cleveland’ and possible company.

Peace & tolerance

H

Rowdy behaviou by Jamaican gay men in Amsterdam

So of all days in Jamaica that being emancipation day were had to be subjected to a video of some persons in Amsterdam displaying the awful side of us, as I commented on the video:

"An embarrassing display of crass behaviour by some rowdy Jamaicans described as gay, it seems we like to carry out poor social skills that some have everywhere ........ someone needs to properly advise said persons to be mindful they are living in another county and that you represent the est of the population whether they know it or not."

It cannot be that all a sundry gets to exploit asylum and are successful only to reach in the respective zones to show how disgusting some of us can get. Owing to the fact that the former Crisis Interventions Officer also lives in the country and is effectively operating as same in absentia, couldn't she and other influentials over there, given previous episodes to this one properly help the persons to assimilate if you will. 

Fights at clubs news came my way a couple times before via Dutch DJs and other Jamaicans over there who are simply fed up with the embarrassment, some persons have been banned altogether by some clubs and are under watch by the authorities as well. Others have been forced to return to Jamaica due to illegal activities such as shop lifting and intimate partner violence issues.

Guide such persons as to societal behavioural norms, protocol and so on. Not because one is in possibly the most open societies in the world means it is a free for all; it also needs to be abundantly clear that it has serious implications for image, policy directions towards asylum seekers and such, this is no trivial matter and other persons who are coming behind them may need to apply and may have genuine reasons to but fail as prior issues such as this becomes a strike to deny entry.

Persons need to be advised as to how to temper anger towards stigma and discrimination versus a case of following instructions as per rules and regulations; it seems the newer generations are only adopting the negative social skills from the older children, le sigh! Persons need to remember that one maybe living in another country but one is still Jamaica and we are well liked in certain spaces, remember 'Jamaica No Problem?' some territories are behind in that sphere of our image hence we need to build from it, not spoil it.

Hope they learn.

Peace & tolerance

H

Oh those ‘str8’ bi-curious boys & their emotional baggage

I have to agree with my friend who said words to the effect as in the post’s title it is on rare occasions one run into men who are supposedly on the fringes on the continuum of homosexuality and experimentation or exploration. They are ever so cautious yet defensive especially when it comes to role play in sex; oh no no bottoming, ‘man a man, man a nuh oman’ (I am a man not a woman and therefore won’t bow) or play a passive role, it is just too much to play the sexual role of a woman hence all other kinds of responses and masking comes forth. I have spoken to such experimentation and insecurity before in previous posts such as a recent run in by an old cruiser brethren of mine who sustained a broken arm after a tussle with another man after a brief sexual encounter; yet the man literally freaked out that he erred in doing the act and then sought to blame the very brethren he just enjoyed a partnered masturbation session with.

I met a fella on adam4adam recently, yes I use it like some of us do and then pretend they don’t acting all decent and stuff; we know very well that that site is still the main hookup centre apart from social media; in meeting the dude in stealth online we finally exposed our true identities after some extended communication although he wanted a more instant approach based on my profile pictures of my dick and ass; no face pictures are up as is customary for many Jamaican members. Such anonymity has other implications of trust, deception an such that I won’t get into now but suffice it to say this lead up to the actual hookup was relatively smooth. We met face to face finally after several whatsapp and A4A messaging and I liked what I saw physically; frankly I was not interested in his mind for say as his dick photo was what pulled me into him. The 36 year old was coy pretentiously at first but soon opened up and expressed that he liked me as I was not girly (the first sign of insecurity and policing of attitudes or even aesthetics) I am very comfortable in my own skin and it took years to get there so I get very careful in navigating hook-ups or socializing with men who express such scrutiny.

We met eventually and finally decided to do the deed by the usual you show me yours I show you mine lead in then the exploration; bearing in mind I have not used A4A for a while but met my hook-ups at parties I DJ at or repeat sessions with trusted buddies and cruising catches. As this is not my Xrated blog I won’t get into too much sexual detail but use your imagination as if you were with a man in a sexual encounter. The shocker however to me was he did not want to go all the way but wanted me to play a full passive or receptive role (as a woman) bearing in mind I am fully versatile; although he described himself as gay (not sure he understand sexuality) he refused to reciprocate in certain respects as he saw it effectively a feminizing is too much for him and he was not willing to budge any in terms of exploring the options and feelings. His defence afterwards was he was only ‘passing through’ a term I have had said to me repeatedly with previous hook-ups. In supposedly ‘passing through’ he may be implying he is not ‘gay’ in the true sense of the word as homosexual as that has too much attached to it in terms of effeminacy; remembering he said I was not ‘girly’ a frightening issue for many men who have sex with men but are on the proverbial downlow or ‘passing through’ types.

So in ‘passing through’ he is not obligated to go all the way by engaging in flip flop suggestion or request. Sexual contact must therefore be limited and left to the hetero-normative sex with strict roles carefully observed in bed and everyone must stay in their place; no touching beyond the norm or exploring certain parts of the body in the fondling process. I have met men who even literally define or dictate the boundaries of where I can go or touch including the feared wandering of fingers and hands by the anus or butt cheeks; one guy told me some years ago that my hands must not pass his waist but I can do anything with the front end.

Back to this present guy, in the after conversation surprisingly he was patient to conduct as other men similar to him I have met just hit it and quit it afterwards with no extended talk as the ‘man a man’ (I am a man) mantra takes precedence and real men do not talk too much like women. He said he always had feelings for men but kept it real quiet and had a girlfriend up until some time ago while stoutly declaring that she was not aware but I have no way of proving that. Cautious approaches to sex with defined or prescribed activities/demands and navigating socialization is a clear sign to me of the bi-curious types; but I have mastered the art of working my way around them. He declared that we cannot meet too often (the ‘pass through’ business again!) and that he doesn’t really see himself as ‘gay’ in other words by virtue of having limited sexual contact with the same sex in his eyes he is not gay; by virtue of having a woman or being attracted to women he is not gay as well (there is something called bisexuality); by virtue of playing a traditional hetero-masculine sexual role albeit with another man he is a man’s man and so being ‘gay’ is some journey to feminization and a weakening of his manhood. These are real fears that have had an impact on how men who have sex men interact and even fall out with disastrous consequences at times often seen as crimes of passion when they go public. Luckily I got one of the docile ones (whew!) but who knows? A friend of mine had an experience some years back where he had to literally run away from a hotel he had just had a not session with as the guy literally changed guilt blaming my bro that he made him do something he was not into really but he had a hard-on none the less and was clearly interested in what was going on but did nothing to stop it in the heat of the moment.

I would love a study or an expert to help me grapple with how men who have sex with men just can change their stance or personas literally especially after sex. Masking or self denial even in the face of just having sex with another man is baffling to me. I had jokingly come up with a name some years ago in an old blog post referencing a similar change of persona matter; I had named it P.E.A.D post erotic arousal disorder; 

see: P.E.A.D a man's attitude changes after sex 2008 from sister blog GLBTQ Jamaica

I am not a psychologist so to have ‘disorder’ in the name is just for emphasis as I and others via reports have had run ins with men who just literally change right before your eyes after sexual activity. After sex guilt often seems to be the evidential outcome of such change and is usually more visible in hyper-masculine types as opposed to semi or fully effeminate men; as if they are helpless to pursue their true urges but when they do the feeling of shame and committing a sin of some sort sets in.

I expressed that we should keep in touch and he agreed after a short ponder; he sounds willing to engage outside of the hook-up imperative but definitely not a relationship. Others would just meet skeet and leet lol after the wipe up in the comings and goings of the hook-up.

Nuff love.

Peace & tolerance

H

also see from sister blog GLBTQ Jamaica: Dubious Adam4Adam Profiles, Unscrupulous Sports, Gay Imposters, Robberies & Safety ..

Modern gay love, dating apps & deception wrapped in homophobia

Orgies, Intruders & Safety

Teacher found dead in home, crime of passion is suspected by cops

TRELAWNY, Jamaica — Up to late afternoon on March 9 the Trelawny police were working to apprehend the killer or killers of a St James High School teacher whose decomposing body was discovered at his home here yesterday morning.

The deceased has been identified as 53-year-old of Dexter Dacres of New Haven Heights, Granville, Trelawny.

Read from the Observer: Teacher's decomposing body found at Trelawny home

A reliable OBSERVER ONLINE source revealed that among the things removed from the house yesterday morning was a note that read:

"I killed him because he tried to rape me"

Condoms and lubricants were also said to be found in the English language teacher's bedroom.

According to the police, they were summoned to the swanky New Haven Heights, Trelawny neighbourhood, by residents, who detected a stench coming from the home of the teacher yesterday morning.

Upon their arrival, the cops discovered the decomposing body, with multiple stab wounds, wrapped in a sheet.

The body was removed to the Doyley's Funeral Home.

The teacher was said to have been last seen on Saturday in the company of a boy who he said was a relative of his, residents say.

Dacres, who reportedly started working at St James High in January, is said to have got along well with students and members of staff there. He was said to have also paid special interest in slow learners, a senior teacher at the school revealed.

The Falmouth police are probing the incident.

Meanwhile a Vice Principal at St. James High School, who gave her name only as Mrs. Panton, says the staff is shaken by Mr. Dacres’ death.

Commanding Officer for the parish, Superintendent Clive Blair says relatives had reported Mr. Dacres missing 

Superintendent Blair says the Police are theorizing that Mr. Dacres was killed in a crime of passion; as per usual the cops always default to that description no sooner than they figure or suspect the matter involves MSM as victims or perpetrators.

This case reminds me of the John Terry matter where a similar note was left on the scene as reported yet the killers and the case can't seem to get anywhere. 

Previous posts guide us in that regard:

British Consul John Terry's Murder Case Fails to Get Started Yet Again! 2014

Security guard charged with John Terry's murder as new DNA evidence is unearthed 2010

Hope they solve this one as so many have gone cold after much hype and initial shock of the news.

here is an older podcast i had done on the conflation with crimes of passion versus genuine homophobic matters:

Peace & tolerance

H

St Ann cruiser’s near miss & a sprained arm

A longtimer in his late forties (name withheld by request) in the cruising business is now nursing a sprained arm after an encounter with one of those unsure brothers who seemingly according to the man is on the fence when it comes to men and sexual activity. I dread these kinds of men who can literally change their persona in a heartbeat especially after the fun is over (cum) and he is back to earth so to speak; it is as if he has lost all desire after ejaculation or high arousal and he probably feels ‘dirty’ and he blames the other man of inveigling him into sex or he has a guilt trip that he just did something wrong (a kind of I can’t help myself remorse) as he was trying to ‘change’ as it were from having gay feelings to heterosexual ones in terms of sex.

December 2015 was the time of the incident at a popular hunting spot nearing Ocho Rios close to the beach, in my more naughtier years lol I have had some quick encounters there; the fellow cruiser made his way there for a potential hook-up and met the man turned perpetrator, the man is also a repeat visitor and is known for his gifted endowment; both had made the move to commence some fun and the quick business was eventually dealt with; the men walked to another location and started a conversation which is not the norm in those outdoor circumstances but none the less it occurred; usually persons leave the scene and go their separate ways with a sort of ‘next time’ expectation resonated in their minds. In a radical turn around by the perpetrator in terms of his demeanor he started to accuse the not yet injured cruiser of forcing him into sex and he was not happy from the get go of their encounter and he was uncomfortable with sex with men and that it was a sin etc; this was said despite no such feelings were expressed in the heat of the moment and fun.

My cruiser colleague in his report by phone continued that he found it puzzling as to the reaction by the man; so he decided to walk him out and leave him alone as he the cruiser concluded the man was confused he could not be bothered to engage that despite the man was known by himself and others on the ‘network.’ It was at that juncture things got physical as the man felt aggrieved saying among other things (choice expletives) he felt disrespected seeing the cruiser was walking him out or not responding as he wanted him to regarding the discomfort he felt albeit after a sexual encounter. The men fought briefly and in the tussle a piece of board lying nearby was used by the ‘confused’ man to inflict blows on the victim in the case.

He sustained minor injuries and a sprained arm after all was said and done, this is not the first time I have heard reports of such clashes with men in the cruising world and subsequent physical injury. On my Wordpress blog I carried a similar story some years ago as well, funny how history seems to repeat itself and such encounters are so similar with violence factoring in most cases I am aware of.

Also see: GAY CRUISER SUFFERS BROKEN ARM AFTER TUSSLE 2011

There was similar matter nearing the old cholera cemetery in 2007 on West King’s House road when there was an active cruising group there some of whom have moved on or migrated to other lands; a man was set upon by another even after both men engaged in a partnered masturbation exercise; upon demanded payment of some kind not met the perpetrator reacted violently but the victim so to speak manage to escape.

The Sandy Gully back in the late nineties when it featured as a site for homeless MSM, commercial sex workers and cruisers sharing areas along the strip had an incident that ended up with man stabbed and hospitalized for weeks with the perpetrator set upon by other men at Springs Plaza by the KFC store when that part of town was a hangout. The victim was eventually aided by then community divo matriarch so to speak Donald Thompson aka Fay Donaway who had an apartment nearby by Gore Terrace.

The present incident continued:

Things eventually cooled after a stone throwing response from the injured cruiser so as to defend himself and chase away the perpetrator. The man has also threatened he intends to out my cruiser colleague if he is seen in the town or its environs to which the cruiser reminded him that they were both the ‘same thing’ meaning he was gay too so he should not pretend he is heterosexual in public to deflect scrutiny if and when he attempts to out the cruiser. Again I am amazed at how some brothers just can literally change in a moment’s notice.

I have had my run-ins too way back in the day when I used to feature a spot downtown; one of the longest serving haunts until the geographical changes that came to erase it. I was forced to defend myself after a guy who I just jacked off with wanted money and attempted to rob me as well of cash and such. Thankfully I am able to handle myself and put a spoke in his wheel with his intent; another time I was forced to wrestle with a thug who claimed he wanted to penetrate me at any cost to which I refused to give in and like the previous reference he was surprised at my response as I was able to inflict a few blows to his face in defence. From that day onwards he has a long term bitterness towards me and has even attempted to impugned all kinds of allegations on the street about me. That has since died down and he claims he has gone back to women as it were.

The perils of the ‘hunt’ are numerous outside of ‘confused’ or unsure men who seemingly cannot seem to resist their urge for some sexual play with a man but are conflicted with their own inner values and self awareness/acceptance. Robbery to is also a major challenge as some men use luring other men into encounters with a view to perpetrate a heist of some kind; sometimes under threat of being publicly labelled as gay so as to cause a mob to follow and such.

My cruiser brethren says he is going to be more circumspect from now on and avoid that area for now so as not to run into the ‘confused’ man.

Peace & tolerance

H

Ugh! That gay thug hustlers entitlement problem again!

the representative 'thug' ideal .......... don't we all want 'em?

“A wah do some boi man, we dem nuh go get a life?’ (what is wrong with some boys, why don’t they go get a life?) were the infamous and often echoed words by several others that rung out loudly for me when I stopped by a friend in Kingston recently for a lunch reunion; when we run into some of these gay so called thuggy thug hustlers who swear they are the cat’s pyjamas and more man than anybody else and as if we owe them something, ‘we’ here of course meaning lesser hyper-masculine types then somehow a hetero-normative social construct takes precedence in the liaison; as if to suggest lesser masculine men in the eyes of these hustlers must be as seen women in heterosexual relationships or passive in sexual/gender role play or in taking orders, acceding to demands.

The ‘woman a mine me’ [male financially supported by a woman] mantra as voiced in song many years ago frankly has set the trend for men to feel they must be catered to as then it changed the thinking and made women to now support men almost paying for dick (sugar mama culture in the ICI/higgler community). If one doesn’t meet the ‘thug’ demands whatever liaison type nowadays then you somehow deserve what comes your way, frankly I am getting a little perturbed by the numerous complaints on the grapevine or otherwise of alleged out of control so called gangsters who want the world while marketing essentially their naturally chiseled bodies & dicks. I do like many other colleagues find men of most types attractive and am enamoured by the thug types but I have since learnt how to box with them. It is about managing the arrangement. We all I imagine want that six pack, nicely hung dude to do the things to us and such but it comes with challenges.

My friend had met a man in a certain depressed community nearing the Boulevard at of all places a barbershop who kept eyeing him during his wait and subsequent sitting in the chair to get his grooming services delivered and as is customary barbershop chat ensued. The shirtless indeed gorgeous body type (usually the physical gifts held by ghetto types) man stood by the door occasionally swinging his shirt in his hand were talking about some event with the barber in question in duty to my friend about some event they had attended and the usual bravado about who dressed well and who had dances with the most girls and such. The evil eye swung my friend’s way every now and again and it was obvious this dude was up to something according to my friend relating this to me; his own gaydar sensed something as we more street savvy types are good at and it was when the barber had finished and collected his due that it was clear what was up. The barber also offered his card and openly also offered more in terms of friendship; words to the effect were said “boi bossy memba fi pass back enuh, mi de yah pon it everyday still but call me if yuh come and don’t see mi call me still” (the word ‘bossy’ is usually used to establish familiarity and a setup for either some sort of solicitation including sexual advances but one has to know how to sense it) with a all too friendly smirk on his face.

The shirtless thug on the front steps of the little makeshift shop was watching the dialogue and he too had a smile of his face but not the usual one of welcome to the spot or shop and come back again and it was very clear now that this shop is more than just for barbering. He too made his was over to my friend who was making his way out when he boldly stopped him and the same word ‘bossy’ came from him; he asked if the service was OK and said the barber is the best in the business but it was one of those conversations that one knows that is not the reason for it and there are ulterior motives beyond the icebreaker. The he got to it where he simply laid his cards on the table (a man like that I like lol .... just get to the point) he said he saw my friend from across the street that was why he arrived and stayed at the shop’s entrance effectively striking irrelevant conversation to observe my friend to confirm what he suspected. My friend said he was dumbstruck at first but decided to put up a defensive posture to test him but he laughed and said that types like him who play hard to get are the ones he likes.

Obviously this thug was very experienced and knows how to play the game; in my view my own encounters over the years it is a game to them, guess it has something to do with socialization and such tied in with gangsterism or anancyism that we have come to absorb so well and use almost daily. Fast forward to the parties getting involved sexually and occasional visits to my friend’s home as he leaves on a main road so that offers some ‘safety’ in a sense for usurers and double agent types who want to wade into ones trust then rob them afterwards but in this case it was that ever constant problem of entitlement some of these hustlers have; as explained in my introduction the ordered role play that attend to these matters mimicking the social constructs found in the ghetto perhaps where it is a romanticless or very low emotional relationship and just functional for sex and money or outright abuse and the complicated power differentials in such arrangements.

Familiarity can reveal hidden or dormant attitudes, feelings and intent and such was the case with this one especially when sex is used to consummate the liaison. All of a sudden according to my friend he changed, more and more demands especially for money were made, gifts and essentially eating my friend out of house and home. He arrives when he feels like it unannounced (albeit this was not a monogamous relationship although that doesn’t legitimise the behaviour) he eats, sleeps and even brought other friends over to have sex inviting my friend to join the triage or ménage-a-trios. A stop was put to that instantly. Then the thing I feared the most occurred in these types of arrangements or friendships where once the dynamics of the liaison changes or the seemingly aggrieved party decides to take matters in hand and shifts the power differentials that’s when all hell can break loose. Having an already marginalised man in a taboo downlow sexual liaison developing feelings of further loss of power or having his ego stroked can have disastrous indeed have had said outcomes; some so ghastly we have seen some of them play out in our print media; often paraded as homophobic incidents by some when they have no real world experience.

The reaction came some weeks ago when my friend who had arrived from work after doing double shifts and was tired; he received a phone call from the ‘thug’ that he was on his way over and ordered him to prepare a meal as he was hungry. My friend objected and explained he was tired, not accepting any visitors but he hung up and turned up none the less expecting his ordered meal; demands not met he fumed and it blew up into a fight, fortunately the other tenants downstairs the home were not in so exposure was avoided but it did not turn out well as some items were damaged including an android phone (BLU). Then came the threats and conditionalities; the so called bad man or don-man type rhetoric took up most of the exchange as he claimed he was being dissed by my friend and the also other usually reminder of who is the ‘man’ in the relationship line as if my friend was something else.

There is an old saying “customer like steady feel he has a right to findle the merchandise..” or words to such effect when applied here to me suggests if my friend is paying and gifting this ‘thug’ then he has a right to amend, adjust or end the power differential arrangements in that union; but then again market forces also cause problems, the cat’s pyjamas issue I mentioned in the introduction drives some of this entitlement phenomenon by hyper-masculine types as MSM sub culture promotes more middle class gay men as less masculine or semi of not fully effeminate while objectifying the thug types as God’s and rare breeds and when found must be kept as a prize. The opposite mantra can be applied as in if a product is in high demand even by the existing customer then the price will go up; these fellas are in the game to win it and will do all they can to milk what they can get from their male partners especially. Owing to the refusal in some cases of self identification as gay as that is too loaded a term and perception as it implies a passive role only serves to feed the power differential challenges. So we are bound to have this entitlement issue I guess until there is some change comes in gay subculture and by extension general culture too as that has some influence I feel in terms of the mimicking or gender roles.

With such ordered gender roles or sexual positioning comes the problematic issues of ‘tops’ and ‘bottoms’ which just further complicates things and men seem to forget that we are BOTH men in a sexual union of some kind and it really should be about what one enjoys or is comfortable with sexually versus who is the bitch in bed and who is the ‘man’; I think we need to unlearn some of these self imposed restrictions same sex attracted men place on themselves or I should say ourselves; I too used to be ordered about sex and roles and passive men judge the ‘strength’ or role of their partners by how they perform in bed and what they do in bed; it used to be considered an anathema if a ‘thug’ was said to have been penetrated and word gets out there; he may find himself the subject of ridicule and distancing as the conclusion drawn is persons do not want a woman role player to ‘top’ them in bed as it implies he may not be able to have the sexual prowess required to perform (power as exemplified in the use of the penis).

from Thugseduction

I think what has softened the rigid or ordered sexual role play insistence a bit is the advent of the popularity of black gay porn in the last few years with the so called masculine or thug bottoms phenomenon with overemphasis on the thug/hyper-masculine identity type but he is willing to be ‘dicked’ down by another thug (tapping into rap culture & the downlow which has been made attractive in recent times). So sites such as Dallas thugs or Thugseduction and Cocodorm to name a few plus the new ones popping up have helped; our local sites such as Rudejam though blocked in Jamaica but ways are out there to go around that have followed suit somewhat as sex scenes do involve not the stereotypical look of a hyper-masculine type with a lesser so man having sex with the latter playing the passive role. The tops and bottoms issue has also found its way in the narrative of antigay groups as well in their own ignorance especially when they are using the ‘HIV is a gay disease ploy’ to justify the retention of sodomy laws and denial of rights for MSM etc. They peg the hetero-normative social construct to gay relationships to suggest we are unworthy for equality as we are trying to mimic what they the privileged str8ters are doing.

So ordered the sex can get that just drawing from my own experiences I have met men who are very restrictive as to where to touch and how even oral sex should be performed on him without any moans that sound too feminine (a feature of prison male to male substitutional sex); one guy I can remember told me not to touch his ass cheeks or another who asked me not to even go below his testicles, buttocks & crotch area which was a most uncomfortable experience; there has been a perception I have noticed where once one attempts to access anywhere near the anus or crotch then it is assumed one is slowly making his way to penetrate the subject hence warnings are issued prior to avoid even light probing or fondling. I guess psychological inference is he will be seen or treated as a woman and that is just too much to handle for some.

The relationship nowadays is at least frosty with my friend and the ‘thug’ but I am not surprised; when they cannot get to milk you anymore they become distant and only ring you up when they are really low on cash or want some quick sex. Men! can’t live with them but we can’t live without them as in the words of Gladys Knight 1991 minor hit song:

Also here are two podcasts on some of the issues I had done tying in crisis reporting and credibility on gay on gay sub cultural matters and violence versus genuine homophobic matters, power differentials and such:

Bad Man Nuh F*** Batty (Masculine Men Don't F*** Ass) (The Fear of The Feminine in JA) 16.04.15 by Djhowiejam

After catching midway a radio discussion on the subject of Jamaica being labelled as homophobic I did a quick look at the long held belief in Jamaica by anti gay advocates, sections of media and homophobes that several murders of alleged gay victims are in fact 'crimes of passion' or have jealousy as their motives but it is not as simple or generalized as that.

More next time

Peace & tolerance

H

Gay man BEATS lover at court

There was a strange scene at the Spanish Town Resident Magistrate’s Court on Monday when a man had to seek refuge inside a female bathroom after being attacked by his enraged male lover.

The incident, which occurred about noon while court was in session, started after one of the men heard that the other was taking out a restraining order against him.

People began paying attention after the men began arguing with one another, mercilessly, throwing punches at the other. In between being beaten, the man, believed to be playing the role of the woman, cursed that he was tired of being battered and needed to move on.

“You are just constantly abusing me, you not even working, but continue to beat me up. Look at my back,” the slimly built man said, showing onlookers several cuts and scars on his body before fleeing into the bathroom.

Sat outside

The other male, who is stoutly built, had a word of warning for him. “Yu can’t lef mi until mi ready fi yu lef so stop get mi angry,” he said, as he sat outside the courthouse waiting for his lover to come outside.

Unbeknown to him, the battered lover went through a window at the rear of the bathroom and fled the premises.

“Mi can’t believe mi eye! Mi only si when one of the man grabbed the odder one and sey mi no give yuh permission fi lef di yaad so how come yuh have mi name out yah,” Michael Denver, a bystander, who witnessed the unbelievable incident said.

Other persons expressed shock at what unfolded. “Even di rain stop when the two man dem start the ediat action, a real slackness dis and God a show we sign,” another bystander added.

meanwhile:

This story was the subject of much laughter; obviously not funny to me, sadly people continue to use such incidents to justify dismissal of rights seeking by lobbyists as crimes of passion in all cases; even when the issue is a genuine homophobic matter. 

Where words could not express the thoughts, memes certainly did.

Nadene Paige: 'You see why we can't get little rain from above.'

Pansy Poochie-loo Boswell: 'What a mix up...I am deading.'

Stephane Loyal Rose: 'Sas crise, all dem sitten ya.'

Angie Soso Bless: 'No seriously, everything just wata down suh. A dis a gwaan inna JA. Lord Jesus, intervene.'

Shanika Virgo: 'No sah, what this world come to.'

Sadly changing hearts and minds is the bigger issue than even buggery law reform.

Peace & tolerance

H

Escort services losing out to social media

The longstanding tradition of male escort services in Jamaica, yes right here in Jamaica! has been successful in as far as profits by the operators and satisfied customers over the years are concerned, me included so I declare interest (smile) but like nearly every other facet of life social media has either reduced, changed, amended or eradicated some elements that were once accepted. Quietly men have been providing such services and satisfaction for other men for decades locally and persons who you’d least expect are in the business as one such episode was brought out in media though showed as an extortion matter yet those in the know are aware or matters otherwise. Hint Hint, of a certain public persona. Anyway I ran into an old general in the business at Pavillion Mall recently; been a while since I went there and we sat by the benches near the Digicel store eastwards infront the Jewellery store nearing that infamous entrance/exit zone, you may ask why I am so specific as that exact area prior to social media and such was a hunting/meeting space for men as well coincidentally in years gone by for the so called “walk-foot” populations who cannot afford more private facilities or a car for ease of transport so it was a bit funny to me although I never mentioned it in my conversation with the elder.

I decided to share some of this publicly as sometimes there is an impression out there unfortunately created and facilitated by some so called LGBT activists and NGOs that real life does not exist here in as far as some socio economic classes are concerned or it is only the middling classes or above that can live or navigate the minefield of same gender sexual pleasure when they themselves have no real world experience and also buy into the stereotypes that more masculine men are somehow all anti-gay or homophobes; when what it may amount to is effemophobia or the fear of the feminine.

I inquired if the business was still on and he said yes but with a drop in his voice and expression which prompted my next comment and query “dat nuh sound so good, something wrong?” (that does not sound good, is something wrong?) I asked to which he said that the business is not as safe as it used to be anymore, the prospects are becoming more demanding in terms of rates and prices, customers are not prepared to pay the contributions and the prospects and not literally standing up to it; meaning erectile dysfunction challenges with men who are supposed to not have such issues. He complained that issues he never had in previous years have surfaced and with the perception that it is open market for marijuana use the fellas are using with what appears to be side effects of the latter dysfunction problems.

He does not have a website as since the blockade policy taken by the Golding administration to the Jamaican audience there has been a turndown in business since so other methods have had to be used in the meantime.

He continued that a few persons have complained that second and third go rounds seem virtually impossible or are hard to accomplish as prospects cannot get it up or rise to the occasion as is demanded by some eager and regular clients. It has been proven that misuse or abuse of marijuana especially of some species of the herb can lead to issues of poor blood circulation and such having an impact of blood pressure hence erection to the male member via blood flow of course. HIV testing seems to be another issue as some of the prospects refuse to do so for purposes of record keeping and such as there are persons who may request negative persons believe it or not.

That incident of an orgy gone bad recently also came up which I did not know he was aware of but silly me as the organiser of that event is also in the business per say but from a different angle hence the mention of an orgy.

See: Orgies intruders and safety

His disappointment was more pronounced however when it came to the subject of the imposition of social media on his efforts as he says some prospects have since left the fold and are on their own literally playing the field for hook-ups and such via all kinds of groups public and private and via influentials around. The party scene is a dead zone for such hook-ups these days he says as the patrons are younger and are not that demographic really for such service which is true from long time ago but there may be a few leads there. He may be right in terms of social media’s impact and loss of prospects as my own experience some months ago attest where I was added to a private Facebook group, I shared my X-rated blog therein only to be hit with a private message some minutes later from a few of the guys as members quite openly with two going as far as sharing personal details, photos (nudes/erections) and even expectations for compensation.

Bolder and more outgoing are the brothers becoming that they do not need a middle man anymore it seems and hence the operators are complaining. Another operator of a popular site has echoed similar sentiments and also claimed the fees demanded by persons who are models are jumping like crazy. The elder statesman made it known that a popular name in the business may fold his outfit soon as he fears he is wasting his time in terms of possible profits but for the fun of it he may continue for the pleasurable benefits. Some escort outfits I am aware of provide some converge such as shelter for out of towners, some coverage for health services including HIV testing and STI monitoring but of course this is of course subject to the fees charged and withdrawals for costs etc. It is a business like any other business I would imagine.

Apart from networking with friends or the proverbial grapevine with some cruising social media affords more obvious ease at finding prospects at ones fingertips but what about safety I asked the gentleman as we watched persons passing by including other old party patrons from back in my time as an active DJ, He answered that he checks out backgrounds all the time before adding persons to his roster as independents while looking physically attractive can be something otherwise. That public persona so called extortion matter came up again and we laughed that the so called victim of all persons ought to have checked and known better as the alleged miscreant is well known in escort and hook-up circles, it is said his reputation precedes him.

I encouraged him to try and get into some of the groups out there which he says he already does but the prospects refuse when approached to have him or his outfit act as intermediary they want the gains for themselves he thought out loud but one cannot force a man I replied. Let us see if there may be a settling of sorts with the use of social media for hook-ups versus face to face links or an online profile. I get the feeling that some of these characters though are not really gay and are into the business via some sort of introduction (substitutional sex perhaps via jail or prison) or an old perception that more affluent gay men are prepared to spend big for certain types of guys which can lead to all kinds of issues chief among them this chronic entitlement problem otherwise seen as extortion.

Happy hunting folks and be ye careful, still too many bad reports are had of hook-ups gone ugly.

Peace and tolerance

H