Cyber bullying, stigmatization, decency and such

Trolling a word coined in recent years coupled with dog piling is becoming a major issue now in Jamaica it appears, especially with LGBT persons as visibility just by observation has shot up in years. REDIT, Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook and Instagram and others are the main platforms where the bashing, insults and threats come forth. Caleb Orozco of UNIBAM who recently won his Supreme Court constitutional challenge to buggery has been the recipient of severe death threats, threats he and his supporters have not taken lightly especially when it is home grown. Locally since the bigoted tweet turned Facebook and Instagram diatribe of 110m gold medal winner Omar Mcleod at the Olympics the continued abuse even so many days after and despite the principled action taken by the company involved LASCO FOODS the threads go on. Some persons are still surprisingly calling for boycotts blasting the company whose name was inadvertently brought into near disrepute.

One particular pose by Mcleod couples with what appears to be a thumb ring on his left hand has not gone unnoticed by those who are looking for reasons to suspect homosexuality in persons; the old belief that a thumb ring is a definite indirect marker as such feel justified in the phobia/bigoted slugfest.

The ease at which such online abuse can come is disturbing to some and I contend that the platforms can sometimes take forever to take action when offensive posts/comments are made and are flagged by the target or their friends. Twitter’s newer capabilities have a jury system to address such abuse in order to arrive at a decision effectively by one’s peers similar to a civil court system. Facebook and Instagram if not Manhunt, Jack’d and Adamforadam do not seem to act quickly as well when reports are made of abuse of suspected fake profiles when they are discovered to be such. The consequences of abuse is also bizarre at times and it is not until one meets someone who is actually impacted by same that the evidence shows up clearly the abuse can do, persons literally get bogged down, may stop using the platform for a while or delete their profiles altogether. Indirect smears without naming persons is one thing but when it is directly targeted at individuals and openly so then it becomes nasty, intimidating and just in poor taste.

When or where do they draw the line in terms of decency, appropriateness and outright abuse is clearly evident? Similar to everyday etiquette which guides cordial relations face to face but with the added near immunity of hurling insults from a remote device with very little consequence including the ‘shame’ factor makes the issues go way out of control. Anyone can take or copy a photo create a fake profile, watch the copied friends’ list and proceed to act as the original holder of the online persona only to create sometimes severe damage to friendships, some persons do take their personal friendships online and do not understand that there is a detachment that comes with online personas. I have it remarkable when meeting some persons who are vibrant on social media but face to face I am left wondering if this is a multiple personality issue, then there is the question of concerns of reduced social skills due to overuse or over focus online versus in persons socializing. At a recent meeting for example I and others had to ask persons to remember we were actually in a meeting as persons fidgeted with their phones with intermittent beeps and vibrations as evident on the table the phones sat. I had to remind persons that the meeting is where the focus should be.

What is also annoying is when one is out let’s say at lunch or at the club and persons in the same space or the same table who can see you literally send a PM on Instagram or poke me on Facebook while they are right there near to me. I just ignore them save and except if the message and such has a private context attached to it. I am particularly concerned about the newer millennials who ever so vicariously live their lives online with no seeming restraint as everything is thrown up from dinner photos to clothing, the only thing left to be shown are the pieces left in the porcelain after use a friend and I joked about recently but it is serious. It raises questions of self esteem, deception, narcissism and just plain insecurity. Sometimes we need to simply put the phone(s) down.

Outings on social media is also still an issue with a couple of reports floating around but difficult to confirm as persons simply close their old accounts when things can get really out of hand. The grabbing of photos editing them and sometimes without the target’s knowledge the changed image is sent all over the place tagged with homophobic verbiage and memes as a recent case brought to bear, what was even more egregious was that it was done by another gay man as both parties were in a longstanding dispute and in aggressor’s eyes that how he could get his revenge. Cyber bullying therefore is not ‘an us and them’ matter but also an intercommunity issue. Legislatively we aren’t quite there yet then there is rebuttal of ‘free speech’ while ignoring the responsibility that comes with said free speech; some believe that have a right to abuse others whilst claiming their targets can use block features to avoid such as in their eyes the whole episode is a joke, we have a saying that says ‘what is joke to me is death to you’

The speed at which a simple accusation truthful or not can grow into a viral thread or tweet is remarkable, all the more reason persons need to be careful what they put out there, not to mention the fact that everything can be screenshot now and thrown back in the faces of those who think they can deny or refute the origin of the offending post or tweet. A recent comment by a Chinese female athlete on menstrual issues went instantly viral on Weibo, their version of Facebook. Nearly 50 million clicks later on one of the hashtags #period she was condemned for the most part for being too open about a sensitive matter in the eyes of some for women and should have been private. What the episode has eventually shown are the myths of the use of tampons and virginity. Le sigh.

Here are some recommendations of avoiding cyber bullying:

Don't respond.

Don't respond. If someone bullies you, remember that your reaction is usually exactly what the bully wants. ...

Don't retaliate. ...

Save the evidence. ...

Talk to a trusted adult. ...

Block the bully. ...

Be civil. ...

Don't be a bully. ...

Be a friend, not a bystander.

Peace & tolerance

H

Effects of childhood bullying on mental health of adults

image added for effect from the net

Dr Derrick Aarons

HAS the thought ever occurred to you that some of the psychiatric disorders you see in adults might be due to the effects of bullying that they received during childhood?

Well, research has recently shown that this is so.

The largest research study of its kind has revealed just how harmful childhood bullying is, with various anxiety disorders and depression manifesting in adults later on. Paradoxically, bullying usually takes place in secret away from the eyes of adults, and so the only way to become aware of the bullying of children is to be on the lookout for their reluctance or refusal to go to school, failing grades, and social isolation.

Published in the JAMA Psychiatry Journal, the research revealed that a poor prognosis or outcome also occurred not only in those who were frequently bullied, but also for those children who witnessed the bullying.

The study was part of a multi-centre nationwide birth cohort study in Finland, which included more than 60,000 children followed from their birth in 1981 through to adulthood.

At age eight, children were asked whether they were victims of bullying or whether they bullied other children, and if so, how often. Subsequently, during follow-up, researchers determined whether the participants in the study required treatment for psychiatric disorders from ages 16 to 29 years.

PSYCHOSIS, ANXIETY OR DEPRESSION

Among those who had engaged in frequent bullying, 20 per cent of them received a psychiatric diagnosis at the follow-up. For those who had been frequently exposed to bullying, 23 per cent received a psychiatric diagnosis subsequently. For those who both frequently engaged in bullying and who were also frequently exposed to it, 31 per cent were found to have received a psychiatric diagnosis by the time of the follow-up.

After adjusting for family factors and the presence of psychiatric symptoms at age eight years, the researchers found independent positive associations between treatment of any type of psychiatric disorder and frequent experiences of bullying and being a bully, as well as being exposed to bullying.

Participants who were frequently exposed to bullying had almost a twofold increased risk of receiving a psychiatric diagnosis, including psychosis, anxiety and depression by the age of 29 years, when compared with people who did not frequently bully or who were not frequently exposed to bullying.

ANTI-BULLYING CAMPAIGNS NOT ENOUGH

The researchers found that bullying behaviour was therefore a “red flag” that something was wrong, and that the children involved (the bully as well as the bullied) needed to be assessed.

As bullying behaviour is a complex phenomenon, it is crucial that it be recognised and addressed. Beyond anti-bullying campaigns, the researchers recommended the integration of school-based interventions and mental health perspectives within the school health system.

Parents, teachers, and paediatricians need to be further educated about the association between bullying and the probable psychiatric outcomes in order to properly screen children and to intervene if needed.

The message has to get out that bullying is a form of abuse that should be adequately and effectively addressed, even when other problems may not exist at the time.

Policymakers and health care professionals should be aware of the complex association between bullying and psychiatric outcomes when they implement prevention and treatment interventions.

CROSSING THE LINE

Many people, children and sometimes adults, are often the targets of bullying, particularly if they belong to vulnerable groups or communities that are frequently the targets of bullying (for example, in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender or inner-city communities). The researchers warned that whilst there is a general belief that a certain amount of bullying toughens up children, and there is a kind of admiration for rough-and-tumble play, if this is not done in a well-supervised and friendly environment, then harm can occur.

The line separating friendly play from serious intimidation can be crossed very easily, resulting in children or adults being afraid to go to school or work, and afraid to trust anybody.

Alarmingly, some children will not tell their parents or teachers that they are being harassed because they are frightened for their lives. This kind of experience among children can clearly lead to anxiety and other psychiatric disorders in adulthood, with people being unable to trust anyone because no one stepped in to protect them as children.

We therefore need to work with young children, generally, to help them distinguish between what is normal fun versus what crosses the line into bullying. We have to teach them early how not to cross that line.

Derrick Aarons MD, PhD is a consultant bioethicist/family physician, a specialist in ethical issues in medicine, the life sciences and research, and is the ethicist at the Caribbean Public Health Agency – CARPHA. (The views expressed here are not written on behalf of CARPHA)

Teen forced to change schools following outing incident

A seventeen year old male student formerly of a Kingston school has been relocated to another institution since late last year as a matter arising out of an impromptu situation involving a male teacher who he had a crush on at the previous school. As boys are taught not to be emotional or affectionate towards male adults the student said he struggled with the attraction towards the teacher for months and although he also saw him as a mentor he was also aroused many times. 

Often times we see stories in the tabloids about inappropriate teacher student relationships and we are led to believe that it was the teachers’ fault in approaching the student, maybe it is so but each case MUST be taken on their own merit and when such “confusion” as some experts call it happen where does a boy who is same sex attracted go to for advice and guidance how to process those feelings? I too experiences a similar attraction to a male teacher back then while in high school and was infatuated with his voice and physique as he was the physical education instructor but had to suppress my feelings as there were no avenues to share same and process them except for the occasional masturbation session to relief myself of said feelings.

I can fully appreciate and understand some of this and am glad that the guardian has allowed me to share the core essence of the report made to me via telephone some time ago. The issue of students in sexual encounters with other students and adults is high on the public’s mind as of late due to the plethora of sex tapes (hetero) involving students on social media and concerns raised by the parenting commission and the Ministry of Education both of whom alongside the Principal Association do not want to address homosexuality and early initiation as they ought to be dealt with and the sanitization of the HFLE, Home and Family Life Manual directs us to that realization in recent times.

The “torture” as it were in the mind of the student continued for months as each time he saw the teacher he would go “crazy” as it were and to top that his parents were not so supportive of homosexuality at all so hiding was the option to avoid any issues; there were hardly any other boy crushes that were as intense as the teacher’s pull and he (the teen) had explored non penetrative sexual contact with other boys but the admiration was intense, instances of leaning his elbows out for example to deliberately allow his legs or crotch to touch him or inane meaningless conversation just to take up the time were some of the strategies used to hone in the adult just to prolong the presence of the man before him. 

The teen even went as far as to investigate his contact details but it got no further, the teacher in the meantime though admitting long after that he is a member of the gay community does not identify as such until the sessions with the guidance counsellors and board of the school according to the report made by the teen as gay but became aware of the boy’s advances as they became intense according to the revelation made after the outing incident at the school. The teacher has since resigned (not sure if he was forced) and is gainfully employed at a private institution.

On a rainy Friday afternoon in December 2013 the teacher made his way to a classroom where he apparently left some notes by error on a desk after a session, school had just ended where the teen was passing and saw him, seizing the opportunity to have another one of those stretched conversations just to fulfil his crush he entered the room and quizzed the teacher about this and that but it became too apparent as evidenced in the erected bulge of the teen; it was at that point that the teacher confronted the student about the site and at that same moment as the teen grabbed his own crotch in a bid to hide his member’s size another student came in the classroom; both teen and teacher froze in shock as the other third person in the room looked in surprise then came the words inadvertently out of the mouth of the teen “a him mek me wood stan up” (he caused me to get an erection) afterwards it became apparent that the student who witnessed the exchange at the wrong moment interpreted the statement as the teacher fondling the student. The frightened teen ran and never returned to school until days after thinking that by then the matter who have spread all over the school, he was right as it did carry by the student who came in the room.

His parents were summoned and the matter was discussed off campus fortunately with the Vice Principal and counsellor; the latter offered prayer for change and what looked like reparative therapy suggestions for the student. Meanwhile at home things became dicey as his father has since not spoken much to him and other relatives have become distant. Thankfully an aunt has decided to take him in and address the relocation exercise where it was successful in another parish and new school. The school had not expelled him and that should be noted as we have seen before cases that may be similar where he student is relieved of their space at the school in a supposed bid to “purge” the environment of the lifestyle. I can remember a case some years ago at Dunoon Technical which was carried in a local newspaper where a father incited other students to beat his own son as his homosexual orientation was made public.

There are hardly any avenues as I hinted above for young gay teens (or other orientations and genders for that matter) to unload and process their feelings and desires and many fall through the cracks of mostly schools owned and run by Churches who are indifferent towards such matters.

Hope this teen can live it down and recover quickly and move on. Others are not so lucky and end up on the streets or worse. 

also see: 
Safety month in schools, bullying, oral sex and such ........

Peace and tolerance

H

Male student accused of spying in boy’s bathroom attacked

A male fourth form student of a prominent high school in Kingston is now recovering after an attack by other male students last Wednesday May 8, 2013. Confirmed reports to Gay Jamaica Watch and a follow up conversation with his mother said that around twelve noon at the school just before lunch time the young man was said to have cried excuse just nearing the end of his class period to use the bathroom, he was granted the leave to do so but when he entered according to what other students told his mother when she arrived at the school he entered the urinal section of the lavatory and used it however another male student who initial accused the boy of spying and who eventually caused the mob to descend on him was mum when called to explain the origin of the accusation.

Other boys descended on the accused and proceeded to reign blows on him but it was not an easy task as the student in question is very agile and tall and masculine acting so it was a challenge at first to subdue him then to enact their brand of discipline as it were for “battyman tings” The young man’s mother via telephone said she was distraught but glad it did not escalate any further that it did and that her son was able to escape the mobbing attempt. The shouting match ensued in the bathroom for about ten minutes before it came on the outside and had it continued to the lunch period which is 12:30pm it may have gotten worse despite the accused physical advantage. A chair was said to have been thrown from a floor adjacent and above the passage from the bathroom but it missed the student by some inches reportedly, verbal abuse reigned from other students who were also at the vantage point where the chair was thrown.  

It was last year as well that another male student at a different cooperate area school was attacked but he suffered serious injuries and was kicked down the stairs and beaten with sticks and old pieces of school furniture. That matter was investigated by the police but seems to have not gotten any further. That student has been removed to another school after a lengthy hospital stay according to reports. The matter of cruising bathrooms by curious teens is something that is not discussed at the advocacy level that I can assure you neither it would seem at the guidance counselling levels within the schools either as the forward thinking that should occur just does not. The withdrawal of the Sexuality manual from the schools’ curriculum simply due to a section on anal sex, homosexuality and a guided imagery exercise on role reversal homosexual/heterosexual is another clear reason of this backwardness at the leadership and political directorate levels. Oddly the gay lobby was also for the most part silent on this matter as well which just goes to show the limpwristedness I have been critiquing them about, where is the leadership and voices when needed?

I can remember my days at high school and curiosity and the occasional peeking at other boys in the bathroom and from other boys at well after physical education in the showers or at the urinal it was important to keep your under wear on as a rule even as one showers, no genitalia exposure was the unwritten rule, a rule that I came across at my short stay in prison at the showers. There was a glory hole in the boys bathroom at high school surprisingly beside urinal closest to the last toilet stall and all one had to do was position oneself carefully to peek at another’s member. 

Interestingly not only effeminate boys used that stall for such a purpose supposedly but also very masculine aggressive ones too and there was a particular footballer who we “the gay set” observed quite frequently in or by that particular stall, turns out we were right on our supposition of him, imagine my surprise later in adult life to meet him and his lover and several other boys including a track athlete who came out to me at a hotel party 17 years ago, then we are told by our detractors that homosexuality is not innate?.

Bullying and attacks at school due to homosexual allegations has been increasing according to a source close to the ministry of education and in the education system but there seems to be a code of silence on the matter to keep it out of the public domain especially due to the connection to the powerful church groups that run some of the very schools in which they repeatedly occur. The lesbian attack issue last year is a case in point and the misunderstanding of abuse versus experimentation. That matter is said to also been in limbo despite some dialogue and allegations of victimization by a parent of one of the girls accused of being a lesbian where the school expelled her. Abuse is also a problem where other more aggressive females seem to be intent to act out their version of masculine dominance in a same sexed setting as well since in our patriarchal construct dominance suggests or projects power. Bullying in schools cannot be addressed just by flowery press releases and sleek video campaigns but direct engagement and talks with school administrators and the education authorities despite their unease and fear on homosexuality and this misnomer that the lobby is imposing such when the students themselves are obviously innately so.

Fortunately this current matter is being dealt with some maturity according to the student’s mother on the part of the school’s administrators it seems on the face of it the allegations are viewed with disbelief by them at the accompanying “profiling” (my words) and pinging effeminate traits that are missing in their eyes make it unbelievable, she seemed concerned about her son’s safety than about whether he was gay(bi) or not which is OK in the short term but how things will play out afterwards one is not sure. One does not just live down an accusation like that so easily as it can remain for years even into adulthood, persons do not forget such things and what is even more disturbing is that such an allegation can be made on just about anyone out of the blue whether they display effeminate aesthetics/behaviours or not with the usual response being shock quietly transformed into violence as we are perceived as defenceless women want-to-be.

I am praying this turns out well and I am sorry I did not get the chance to speak to the student directly to get his take on the matter. There is an urgent needs for programs for LGBTQ and especially Q – questioning as this is the stage where curiosity is at its highest sexually speaking.  Same sex attraction or perceptions of such at the pubescent level may not necessarily mean homosexuality in adulthood either.

Peace and tolerance

H

Safety month in schools, bullying, oral sex and such ...........

Missing kids continue to make the news, coaster minibuses continue to be sex shops on four wheels even without tinted windows, schools have now become war zones with some resulting in deaths within the last few months are disturbing to say the least. The matter of paedohilia continue to hit close to the gay community as members of the public misconstrue adult consenting gays initiating young boys to battyism are just impediments to proper dialogue and reaching tolerance.

The Ministry of Education launched Safety in Schools in a service today March 6th where the main sermon in a service broadcast on radio spoke to all of the above and more to include the responsibility of parents and leaders in society. Safety in schools doesn't just begin or reside in the precinct of a school but also from home and how parents rear children while boys and girls increasingly carry knives in the name of defending themselves, they form gangs or cliques to ward of rival groups for one reason or another with sex being the main reasons sometimes for the fall outs. Same gender loving youth apart from enduring bullying from other students suffer pressure at home as well from other siblings and parents leading to displacement in some instances, then there are those who use sex as relief from such problems indulging in teleiophilic behaviour yearning to experience gay sex with an adult also is not helping much, either the adults who ought to know better just use these curious teens for sex the discard them a practice glaringly operating openly in the mainstream as referred to in the opening line of this post with the teenage girls in sexual liaisons with bus conductors and loaders on bashment coaster buses plus the infamous no panty days. where female students literally wear no underwear.

A recent incident also suggest there is same gender loving activity in that grouping as well

The Ministry of Health proudly speaks of the National Vision 2030 that was a part of the Jamaica Labour Party's campaign and vision. In part in reads:

As a united family at home and abroad, we commit to a vision in which:

• we ensure equitable access to modern education and training appropriate to the
needs of each person and the nation

• we provide quality and timely healthcare for the mental, physical and emotional
well-being of our people

• our children and our children’s children can continue to enjoy the unique
environmental and cultural treasures of our island home

• we seek out and support the entrepreneurial talents of our people

• we create prosperity through the sustainable use of resources and access to
innovative technology in our urban and rural communities

• we provide full access to efficient and reliable infrastructure and services

• we are the premier destination to visit and do business

• we hold to, and build on, those positive core values and attitudes that have made
us distinctly Jamaican

• we resolve conflicts through dialogue and mediation

• we treat each other with respect and dignity

• we all have a meaningful voice in the decision-making of our country

• we create a safe and secure society

• we know our rights and responsibilities and stand equal before the
law.

We especially seek to create a secure future for our vulnerable population
in ensuring that:

• each child has equal opportunity to develop their full potential through access
to the best care, affection and protection

• our youth are empowered to contribute meaningfully in building and
strengthening the communities to which they belong

• our elderly and persons with disabilities are fully integrated within society, have
access to appropriate care and support services and are treated as valuable
human resources

• no one falls into, or remains in poverty for lack of adequate support.
“One love, one heart, one Jamaica”

ENDS

Great words and ideals to aspire to but with a Charter of Rights excluding same gender loving people's rights recognised, we've always had trouble implementing things after nice announcements in this country, a society that vilifies homosexuality but what happens privately is another matter, political parties whose representatives who are our representatives publicly tow the "Not in My Cabinet" line but reminders of real life come to the fore in that of the recent detention of a Jamaica Labour Party Councillor Caretaker for of all things Buggery then we are in one hypocritical bubble that will soon burst as all bubbles do. A recent Star News article proves exactly the problems in schools of sexual based actions by prepubescent boys who are accused of forcing another boy to perform oral sex on them. A question posed elsewhere was could it be experimentation or early signs of homosexual behaviours that will emerge later in life?

The answer came as no but it's bullying which ought to have been managed better by the schools leadership and administration, a matter that recently was a major issue in the United States.

The story in the Star News published February 28th read:

ORAL SEX DRAMA AT SCHOOL - Students busted for lewd act in classroom

A male student from a high school in Manchester was reportedly beaten by his male friends at the school after he and a female schoolmate were reportedly caught having oral sex inside a classroom.

THE STAR was informed that the incident took place last Wednesday and has since become the talk of the town.

"Me get a likkle news that dem ketch two likkle pickney inna the classroom a sex ... dem seh a all the while dem do it," a resident from the parish told THE STAR.
Another resident who claimed to have heard about the incident explained to THE STAR that, "him and the girl did a do it ... but you know seh man bun dem thing deh," which resulted in the boy being assaulted.

When contacted, the vice-principal of the school in question was tight-lipped about the matter and offered only a brief statement. "From time to time, the students say things but I don't want to comment sir," she remarked.

The Area Three police confirmed that they were aware of an incident at the school but emphasised that an investigation would have to be conducted.

ENDS

for the principal to simply rebuff the question about the action(s) taken shows clearly how taboo this subject is even in a school setting where some levelheadedness ought to be present when dealing with such delicate matters.

also see: Experimental Sex Again? from GLBTQ Jamaica (blogger)

Early Sexual Initiation and Lack of Perceived Risk Put Youth at Risk

According to the Jamaica Reproductive Health Survey of 2002-2003, among youth ages 15 to 24, the mean age at first sexual intercourse was 13.5 among young men and 15.8 among young women.
In a 2001 survey of more than 1,000 adolescents, 73.7 percent of 15-19 year olds and 9.5 percent of 10-14 year olds reported being sexually active.

In the same survey, while 86 percent acknowledge pregnancy and STIs as risks of unprotected sex, only 12.6 percent viewed themselves personally at risk. Knowing this the surprise in the case above is the boys were demanded their "victim" to perform oral sex on them which may not suggest they are young homosexuals either, same sex experimentation in youth is not uncommon and is not any indication of the orientation of the child or future adult behaviour but this is my lay man's look at it. Schools however need to now realize they have to prepare themselves for cases of same gender scenarios and at the policy level the Ministry of Education is going to have to face reality these children today are far more exploratory in a sense than the previous generation.

Let's talk some more

Peace and tolerance

H