The THOT of the walk who is oral

I don’t know what is in the air as of late but certainly the appearing wave of twenty somethings, gorgeously buffed at that coming out as it were is kinda good to watch. It comes with some stereotype breaking as I am seeing and others have been realizing it as well. The matter came up for example at a get together recently where guests were asked by the host to bring another and the demographic was cutely mixed with older men like me in our forties while the younger ‘thots’ came through. Although the original meaning of the term connotes a condescending tone it is also used to describe a hot dude in body and style as well. Probably with the doubling of life expectancy in gay men in particular, this kind of cross fertilization if you will, may appear more pronounced. What was interesting was that unlike times passed the younger men were quite comfortable with their older counterparts and as the Lyme progressed someone raised the oldie on tops and bottoms rigidity; some eyes were rolling but it diverted to oral and role playing to include so called tops who also go down. The eye rollers joined in eventually as the night progressed.

Of course that part peaked my interest, a recent msm support group for example had a very animated discussion with mostly younger guys on the same matter and it really got tense at one point as a self proclaimed top declared he does not go down and no other man can make him; the response of which amounted to him being mistaken thinking he is the cat of the walk. The Lyme’s activities however was almost the direct opposite, one university student claimed he is a top but if his main partner wanted oral action he would go down and saw no issue. Probably socio economic class has something to do with it, men from the ‘streets’ as it were or ghetto tend to hold fast to more aspirational masculine ideals in a kind of mimicking the bravado in music culture of the alpha dominant male, refusing to be subservient in any way, shape or form. Oral sex maybe seen as a capitulation of sorts, to ‘bow’ as previously abhorred more so in dancehall culture in times past, and still such though with way less stridency with the mold broken by acts such as Alkaline, Vybz Kartel and such who stop short of saying the eat women.

Internalized homophobia might be a factor, we are so used to not being accepted so self hate sets in and tiers or levels of gay becomes a part of the social structure, masculine types who feel by a effeminate behaviour the latter deserves condescension burrowing from or mirroring the misogyny in society effectively adding another ‘minority’ within an already stigmatized group.

Sexual freedom seems to be on the rise although I cannot use one night’s event to predict a national trend; but obviously more masculine men especially seem to be unlearning the somewhat rigid hetero-normative role play in liaisons, a point I have been raising on this blog. The chat session in the Lyme got really graphic at one point with persons harking to shaft treatment and such; I am almost sure some folks had a hard on but the point was made that persons were quite comfortable in not following the cutter mold as before. Of course the trade types want go without money involved or some other gifting as inducement. A problem highlighted recently in an arrangement that turned ugly in June of this year, the trade in question upped the price after he was taken home by his interest and upon the end of the sex things got ugly with the result being property damage, oral action was part of the deal as it came to public knowledge of which the trade wanted more money for that added feature. Men who feel they are going down are not men after that and can be ridiculed if it gets out there on the grapevine, and it has happened before with teasing on halitosis to poor skills to include the inadvertent biting and so on.

Gay porn may have something to do with it I imagine, as more and more black gay porn come through the already crowded white and Latino streams and very masculine appearing stars are quite willing if indeed able to go down on camera, and are not embarrassed and caring one way or the other of the criticisms by fans on social media who still buy into the old stereotype and or purist masculinity in gay life/sex. Only femmes or power bottoms must suck dick in other words. Or the thot who does not do anal penetration but insists on getting his dick sucked as he thinks he is the man and his partner is something lesser than he is. Strippers who also perform sex acts on stage have been very open in recent times; the usual hang-up that would accompany such requests by organisers of events seems to be fading as a recent “Men on the menu” event in western Jamaica showed, buffer brothers were quite comfortable in sucking or at least mouthing dicks rather convincingly to a cheering tongue hanging audience, while dollars rained on the stage.

I had my recent run in with one of those thots/trade types who while insisting on other things asked me if I wanted him to go down to which I said yes; at least he was good and had some skills but I wanted more head action that just the shaft as he tended to pay more attention. Given the constraints of seeing this as a national trend I wonder if it is just a phase as part of the sex seeking behaviours of gay/bi men. Added social media adaptation for hook-ups and open profiles on Apps such as Manhunt or Jack’d seem to have had a major impact on same. The hang-ups one would encounter on older sites such as AdamforAdam or Thugsforsex appear to be not so prominent; hence the openness is like more welcoming to me.

More anon.

Enjoy

Peace & tolerance

H

also see:

‘Who’s the Man?’: Heteronormativity and Queer Relationships