By Jon Tingley Anal penetration used to be a taboo topic. In fact, for some of you, it might still be. What used to be relegated to men playing in bathhouses and Bally’s locker rooms is now a widespread form of sexual intercourse enjoyed by all different sexual orientations and genders.
Yep, that’s right, women can be stimulated by anal sex too. While it can be a fun experiment for you and your partner, it is incredibly important to incorporate safe practice into your anal sex explorations.
Let’s start with the basics. Anal penetration can be pleasurable for everyone, regardless of gender mainly due to the high amount of nerve endings concentrated in that area. A common misconception is that women don’t experience pleasure because they don’t have a prostate.
This is true, women do not have a prostate, but their clitoris do have legs; these legs extend back to the anus making anal penetration pleasurable for some women. Men do have a prostate and the location of which is often referred to as the male G-spot. Rubbing the prostate through anal penetration can often lead to an orgasm.
Many people decide not to participate in anal penetration with their sexual partner or even on their own because of the pain associated. This kind of sexual pleasure actually doesn’t have to be a pillow-biting experience when done correctly. I’m often surprised by my sexually active gay male friends who are still experiencing extreme pain during sexual intercourse even though they have experience. It just goes to show you that even those with apparent sexual know-how can have it wrong sometimes.
There are a few things to remember when considering taking it up the butt:
Communication & Comfort
Like I always say people, communication is key and before you and your partner can have pleasurable anal intercourse, both of you need to be fully willing and ready to take this step. Trying to coerce your partner into having anal sex with you is just going to leave you both unsatisfied.
Relax
Your anus has two barriers to get through called sphincters in order to achieve penetration. You have full control over the exterior sphincter and the only way anything is getting through with limited pain is if you allow yourself to relax. Relaxation is critical to safe and pleasurable penetration.
Use Lube
I’m not talking about sticky, latex-based gels. Make sure to use plenty of water based lubricant during anal penetration. Water based lube is the safest kind of lubricant and will not leave a film like other lubes that can harbor bacteria and cause an infection. The anus does not naturally lubricate itself, so it is important to adequately lubricate both the penetrator and the penetratee.
Take Your Time
Trying to jam a penis or object into an anus quickly will only result in pain and possible damage to your partner. It’s important to take your time and make sure that you’re going slow enough to not only be comfortable, but also to let the muscles in the anus relax and allow for penetration to happen. Taking your time can also mean experimenting with smaller objects like fingers or toys and work your way up to anal intercourse. Practicing with things of a smaller size may make you and your partner more comfortable when trying out the real thing.
I’ve talked for a few hundred words now about “your partner,” but you don’t to be partnered to have great anal pleasure or any pleasure for that matter. In fact, when it comes to anal sex, it might be a good idea to take a test drive when you’re in control so you know how it needs to be done for you. There are plenty of devices out there to assist you in your pleasure-seeking adventures and they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and wattages. Toys aren’t just for women and they aren’t just for the gays.
Many people think that anal penetration is something only gay men can enjoy, but as I told you earlier, women can enjoy it too and, well straight guys have prostates too. While having vaginal intercourse, it can often heighten a man’s orgasm when his partner massages his prostate through his anal wall. There are also toys available that are meant to stimulate a man anally while having vaginal intercourse. If you’re tired of the same old sexual routine, maybe it’s time to try a little ass-play.
While it can be very fun, anal sex is considered a high-risk sexual activity. When not done properly, anal penetration can lead to damage of the sphincter, rectum and anal wall and can open the body up to infectious micro organisms found in fecal matter. Using alcohol or drugs to make anal sex easier can often lead to damage of the anal tissue because these substances temporarily lower the sensitivity of the area. By using safe sex practices and following guidelines for healthy anal sex, you limit both you and your partner’s risk.
If any of this is scary to you, you’ll be happy to know that you don’t necessarily need to penetrate the anus to get pleasure in the area. Stimulating the area around the sphincter can also heighten or induce an orgasm and for men, rubbing the patch of skin between the anus and the scrotum can often have a similar effect of anal penetration.
The important thing to know is that you should be having safe educated fun. If you don’t know how to do something correctly you owe it to yourself to ask someone or seek that information from a knowledgeable source. The more you know about safe and positive sex practices, the better your experiences will be.
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