IT is a question very few parents ever ask themselves, and one that many think even less about since they believe it is something that only happens to 'other people'.
But finding out that your child is gay in a society that is still struggling to accept the lifestyle is something that a number of parents have to face.
In fact, it is estimated that between three to 10 per cent of the world's population is homosexual, meaning that it's an issue that parents face daily. So what would you do if you found out that your child was gay?
George H, father of four:
Well, it might sound harsh but I would disown him. I'm telling you the honest truth! It may seem harsh, but if he was a gunman it's the same way I would treat him. He would have to go and live his life and don't get me mixed up in it. The way I see it, the world can't run without families, you have to reproduce to make families, and two men can't reproduce. So that alone should tell you that it's wrong. If it was my daughter, she stands a better chance with me. Women can get away much more than men 'cause it's not so obvious with females. But I still wouldn't encourage it. I would do what I need to do to try change her mind.
Garfield Y, father of three:
It would be difficult as hell, but I would accept it. It would be easier to handle if it is my daughter as we could still maintain that father/daughter relationship. But it would be impossible to have anywhere near a good father/son relationship with my son.
Wayne W, father of one:
As long as she is happy, I wouldn't kill her. I would more be happy that she trusts me enough to tell me. But if I have a son who is gay that is different still. I wouldn't want to hear, but I wouldn't kill him. I would just stay far from him. Just the thought of him doing that with another man turns my stomach! But girl or boy, support done at 18, straight or not!
Hugh W, father of two:
I would be very upset, but if it's my daughter I would love her just the same. I would not condone the lifestyle but what am I going to do? I would still have to love her.
Angela H, mother of three:
I don't know, to be honest. A lot of people say it can't happen to them and then you realise that is when you are faced with it then you know how to handle it. But I would not judge.
Bobbette B, mother of one:
If I find out while she is in high school I would try and get counselling for her. If that doesn't work, then it would be very hard to accept because it is not something I believe in. But I couldn't put her out.
Olivia J, mother of one:
I would try and find counselling for her. But if I have a boy and realise he was gay, he would have to leave! Him couldn't stay in the same house with me.
Roxanne T, mother of one:
I wouldn't do anything. It's my child. I definitely wouldn't throw her out. She just couldn't flaunt it in my house, but I would have to love her just the same.
Andrae T, father of two:
With the knowledge I have now I would not throw out the child. But there would be a lot of rules in my house; for the boy: no tight clothes, no bleach-out hair and skin, no dressing in drag. He is still supposed to look respectable. And he still has to go to school. His occupation cannot be 'gay'. For the girl, no baggy clothes, no wearing of underpants — she still has to look like a girl. For them the rule is simple — like AIDS — you're not supposed to tell by just looking!
ENDS
hmph some of these answers sound so contrived to me and politically correct in others plus the typical reparative route hint such as suggestions for counselling yet the evidence out there shows otherwise with youngsters being thrown out of their homes repeatedly, just in March just ended my current stint at Aphrodite's PRIDE Jamaica as Outreach/crisis intervention rep (albeit we are not popular deliberately so) I have received four reports for that month alone alongside convenor as well who dealt with some cases on her own and our recently concluded Enterprise developmental project had some cases as well with participants but on the positive side some former displaced persons participated.
Fallouts related to social media use or misuse are still a concern to me as well and despite these challenges the leading groups are silent.
March 31st drama in New Kingston by the infamous gully (described for exaggeration as a sewer main by some)
The tough action now being taken by the police on the homeless MSM/trans youth in New Kingston is also of major concern while more join the ranks and others struggle islandwide.
I am not surprised though as generational ignorance has helped to bring us to this stage when sex and sexuality have been missing from both the national and educational discourse and engagement, lest we forget the strong resistance to the Home and Family Life Manual, HFLE by the Ministry of Education out of fear of "conditioning" students into homosexuality as expressed by the Minister of Education and supported by frightened religious personalities with misplaced priorities.
also see
Minister of Education says no to condoms in schools & grooming of children to see homosexuality as accepted
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