AA is a 23-year-old female who writes Lifeline from Mandeville. She has been sexually active since 16 and has not been impressed with guys who have been a part of her life. Mostly, they have cheated on her, and have been more concerned about their own goals, sexually and in life.
Yes, she is cheesed off by men! Recently, AA has been sticking with her girlfriends and has begun to develop close, even sexual feelings, towards one.
She has never thought of herself as bisexual but now wonders if this could be the case. She feels like her friend understands her better than any man ever did, is more caring and beautiful. She asked Lifeline why men are often such rotters. She just doesn't have any feelings towards them anymore.
Lifeline acknowledges that AA's opinion and her impending change in sexual orientation is not new to formerly heterosexual women. As men have forgetten about the old-fashioned niceties with which to treat female. They treat them instead as 'buddies' with sexual benefits can be had.
That old-fashioned standing back and allowing the female to enter a room first, getting up and giving her a seat on the bus, or getting a tired girlfriend a cup of tea and giving her a foot massage, this lost caring skill, making a woman feel cherished and special, is one reason why there are more women looking to other women for solace ... and getting it!
So, if homosexuality is not always inherited, then what kind of influences lead to homosexual desires? Life events from early childhood can manifest later as homosexuality. There may be a one event, but exposure to several such as:
An absent father
A domineering mother
With females, sexual molestation in childhood by a close male relative
Sexual molestation by a same-sex relative
Divorce in a family, which can often lead to sexual problems for both the parents, as well as the children
Lack of a religious home environment
A lifestyle which is friendly towards homosexuality makes it easier to condone homosexuality as a valid choice
Exposure to unconventional sex at home (child viewing untraditional sex )
Girls who get involved, sexually, at a young age with adult men
Abuse in a heterosexual relationship
Strong factors in becoming a homosexual include:
Any homosexual experience in childhood, if this is with an adult and especially so if the adult, was the very first experience with the homosexual culture, such as an authority figure like a teacher.
Another factor in favouring a homosexual relationship would be exposure to pornography in childhood.
There are also cultural influences, which can remove inhibitions towards homosexuality:
Pro-homosexual sex education
Socially approved homosexual sub-cultures
Openly homosexual authority figures
Legalisation of homosexuality
Societal acceptance of homosexuality as normal behaviour
Alternatively, there is less homosexual activity among religious groups
Studies show that 67 per cent of boys, whose first sexual experience was with an adult homosexual, continued to engage in homosexual activities as adults. The same with boys whose first sexual experience was with a female. Ninety-five per cent remain heterosexual as adults. The same pattern was reported for females.
Statistics also show that black men are twice as likely to be homosexual as caucasians and four times more likely to be bisexual. This is not genetic but may well be due to the fact that black men preponderantly grow up in broken homes, with no strong male figure or a domineering female figure.
In the USA 62 per cent of Blacks versus 16 per cent of white children, are reared without fathers. These figures are not likely to be better in Jamaica.
Homosexuals do experiment a lot, sexually, and many have been sexually aroused or had sexual relationships with someone of the opposite sex. With these individuals, homosexuality may be a lifestyle choice rather than being genetically predetermined.
Several individuals have had one or two homosexual experiences and never again. Then there are individuals in committed heterosexual relationships with spouses and children, who have walked away from that relationship to move forward with a same-sex lover.
Much in these relationships is about personal choice, made with the background of previous life experiences. The truth is that in any community there are individuals considering changing their sexual orientation, in either direction, from heterosexual, to homosexual or vice-versa.
One fact is undeniable. It is that if a person is heterosexual and conflicted by homosexual attractions, if they stay within a homosexual environment they are likely to indulge. If they don't want to indulge, they should remove themselves from temptation, at least temporarily. Associations are important.
Studies measuring arousal show that when shown sexually specific material, most men were only aroused by one gender, whereas most women exhibited sexual arousal to pictures of both genders, showing that, often, sexual orientation is more gender specific in men than in women. That is, sexual orientation is usually more fluid in females.
One cannot ignore the fact, however, that biology plays its part in sexual orientation. Due to genital problems, some children in the past were raised contrary to their biological identity and were seen to reclaim their biological sexual orientation in adulthood.
Our biological nature, as male or female, does have a strong influence on our ultimate gender identity and sexual orientation.
There is some evidence to show that a relative lack of male sex hormones in the developing feotus can later influence sexual orientation, as low testosterone hormonal levels in the uterus facilitate the development of the female-type brain.
Alternatively, exposure to too-high male sex hormones in the uterus may eventually manifest a more masculine brain in a female as female homosexuality. This may account for some homosexual behaviour.
Where sexual desire and sexual attraction is concerned there is no evidence that conscious choice is a part of the equation for straight or homosexual individuals.
In the end, you like who you like. It is up to an individual to act on the emotion or not. A married man might chose to ignore a sexual attraction to his colleague at work for obvious reasons. As adults, we make our own choices in life, ultimately.
Note also, increased infections with bacterial vaginosis in female homosexuals, Hepatitis, genital herpes simplex and alcohol abuse are increased in all homosexuals, mostly occurring because of the tendency towards multiple partners. A committed single-partner relationship is always best.