Insensitive Parents and Displaced MSMs Part III

As you may have realized this has now become a series as we continue to look at adolescent men who have sex with men and the issues that attend to ostracism, stigma and hate leading to displacement or full on homelessness, all topics I feel strongly about. In part 1 of this set of issues posted on sister blog GLBTQ Jamaica way back in 2009 we looked at some cases and reports that came to light then and a flashback story that was disturbing where a father outed his son at a prominent high school only to watch other students beat him mercilessly fortunately he was rescued by some staff members present and a few well thinking students who literally used their bodies to block or absorb some of the blows.

Part 2 we continued to focus and juxtapose the similarities in other incidents that came to my attention at that time where a series of complaints and expressions have been forthcoming from mostly early male teens and a couple of same gender loving females as well with one case reaching a drastic point where a nineteen year old woman was forced to leave under the watchful eye of her stepfather, others have not gotten so bad in the ladies department but persons are uncomfortable in their family homes or places of shelter with other siblings. The age old problem of improper monitoring and securing of cellphones, personal computers/laptops and blackberries with saved passwords for social networking sites thus allowing third party access have also contributed to unwarranted outings and exposures with one male being prayed for in earnest by a weeping mother and the good book thrown at him while she insists his life is all wrong and he must accept God or burn in hell.

In Part III here comes a hastily put together rescue effort of sorts coordinated by a member of my Facebook group GLBTQ Jamaica Linkup on Sunday afternoon October 30th who brought some of his friends with him. The team now totaled five with a strong arm brother (the driver) who was visibly upset by the developments proceeded to take us to the home of a 17 year old gay male who was literally thrown out of his home after returning from a stay with his aunt in another parish where he had gone to conduct personal business. The young man was apparently on watch by his mother of all persons for some time who constantly questioned his activities in recent months according to the teen who we shall refer to for purposes of this post "Garry" 

Garry apparently based on the timeline presented to us by him had very little female friends who would visit him in his small district except for childhood acquaintances and as with other small areas or rural districts residents are close and known to each other, his mother he said occasionally criticized his lack of  having "girls" coming to check him and would hint at her need to have grandchildren and his future marriage. His father a working class tradesman was out of the home most of the time and never really interacted much on a deeper level due to his time working most hours thus his mother had more time to observe and critique his suspected sexual orientation while passing on her suspicions to his father as she was a part time stay at home mother who tendered to a back yard garden.

There have been discussions before Garry informed us but it never escalated to this all out brawl and anger from her, we however went to try to quell the scenario while having our phones set for to summon the police with other self protective mechanisms not fit for mention here, his mother kept saying his silence or avoiding the subject when it was brought up by her meant he was guilty and gay (a battyman) but fortunately for Garry while he was evicted there were only a few eyewitnesses to cause any serious harm, due to Garry's own masculine built and physique he was spared the physical threat that sometimes obtain in other cases such as this. He, while outside with clothes and items literally being tossed through a window had made contact with a third party with what phone minutes he had and was able to get some conversations going until Facebook friends organised a pickup, we pooled together what funds we could muster given the high gas prices these days and drove from Kingston through St. Catherine to the district just outside of St. Ann's Bay while planning how we would execute or mitigate any danger. His farther who had arrived just before our arrival was boisterous we were told when we got to the gate by a woman who was walking away from the scene, she seemed to have muttered something under her breath that she couldn't believe Garry was a battyman, however the houses are far apart from each other thus allowing some room for intervention without too much of an audience then. 

As we cautiously exited the pickup we could hear a female voice shouting as Garry hustled his scattered items on the outside in a large barrel bag, other items were packed in large black garbage bags as per instruction from the organizer of the intervention by phone on our way to the site and who was in no mood like myself and the others for interruptions in what we set out to do. His physical build was also an advantage for our presence added to Garry's thus mitigating any physical threat of violence to his person or any of us. We tried to introduce ourselves at the passage way whilst the family conversation took place but were greeted with a set of tersely worded comments by Garry's mother suggesting that we "his battyman fren dem" (his gay friends) were luring him into the nasty life, his father also was shouting but his words were inaudible as he was behind a closed sliding glass window when we managed to see him upon entering. After several exchanges with the two other persons in this rescue party of sorts we managed to create a diversion while we packed the items hastily in the back of the pickup, by now more persons were prying at the road and the by the fence some eight or nine feet away from the home's entrance.  In the end after some exchange and getting the items we could carry already strunned on the lawn or allowed to take out of his room such as the larger stuff, the strong arm man of the team barreled his way in and managed to get the laptop and a PC with other items that Garry wanted to have with him but was ordered not to take and the remaining clothes/shoes in a combi robe of course not without some physical attempts to block the move by his father but he relented and allowed them to be taken out while remaining boisterous and suggesting we were making his son gay and that one of us or all of us were "fucking him."

Thankfully the situation did not spiral into something worse after just over a one hour's ordeal but Garry was clearly heartbroken in leaving his home by force by his own parents and understandably so, he said very little on our way back to Kingston Sunday night and refused offers of food when we stopped at a popular gas station to pick up snacks. Garry is now in Kingston as we contemplate his next moves and the relevant reports to be made. Thanks to the concerned persons who decided to get involved in this matter and I was pleased to have been introduced to the strong armed brother, his resolve in this issue was a major inspiration. Garry still wants to try and reconnect with his parents and to start some dialogue meanwhile a counselor has been suggested by another person who I was introduced to via my Facebook contact. Indeed this kind of networking was great as we became new friends out of an ugly situation, contrary to popular belief that I know everyone who is gay in Jamaica here is proof that it cannot be true. There are always new faces and brothers to meet (wide smile) where we can network not just for sex but for the greater good of the community.

Summary published with permission from Garry

Peace and tolerance

H