Lawd some Jamaicans needs help. Ignorance is bliss I guess.
FAME FM’s Uncensored hosted by Krystal Tomlinson and the ever uncomfortable DJ Colin Hines when it comes to topics on homosexuality or as in last evening’s show on whether or not men who have anal sex with women or receive or accede to women’s wishes to penetrate them are gay? Proved we have a long way to go in this country in as far as the understanding of sexual orientation and such are concerned and as for the Twitter/Facebook comments is just sickening really; how backward we are as a country yet still despite so much information available at our fingertips literally.
Persons behind a microphone frankly in my view need to be well rounded and be reminded that even if they hold personal positions one is hosting a show and all points should contend in the proper exchange of ideas or information. This is not just a FAME FM problem as I find myself having to stomach for purposes of determining reality some rather inane discourse these days on radio as all kinds of antigay venom comes forth; silly season anyone? Especially when it comes to this business of referendum on buggery calls.
Thankfully Sexologist, Columnist & former radio show host on Nationwide Radio’s ‘All Woman’ Dr Shelly Ann Weeks was in house though late and another sexuality expert for the first half and even with good information flowing from both the ‘anal is gay’ analogy kept creeping into the conversation which sometimes descended into a shouting match. Dr Shelly Ann debunked it quickly by asking why have the hosts had designated anal as gay and who determined it so if persons choose to practice anal sex in heterosexual unions?
“I don’t have a gay part of my body” Dr Weeks said.
Colin Hines as usual cried foul from the beginning of the discussion and a male guest who came on who penetrates women anally was almost raked over the coals for his choice although he said he is not sexually attracted to men. I was pleased that Dr Weeks also explained that not all gay men indulge in anal penetration and do other things otherwise known as outer-course or non-penetrative activities; she teased Colin Hines that if he tried it he might like it; to which he got a little testy.
Then came the rape versus buggery argument where a male guest who says he retails sex toys dismissed anal sex without consent as rape but thankfully again Dr Shelly Ann Weeks debunked that thought instantly; she clearly stated rape is rape whether it was anal or vaginal penetration.
The question of young teens or adolescent girls who want to keep their virginity and who prefer or are forced to have unprotected anal sex so as to keep clear came up as a dangerous alternative if the right precautions were not taken; thankfully Dr Shelly again came to save the day as to safer anal sex, condom usage, lubrication, PH balance and diseases such as Hepatitis B etc. I was deeply disturbed as to the level of discourse at some points in the hour long show; save and except for Krystal Tomlinson’s forward thinking there clearly needs to be a serious campaign of some kind or discussion on buggery, anal health, erogenous zones, human sexuality and what homosexuality actually is. Anal sex does not make someone gay and the buggery law in Jamaica is not just only for gay or bisexual men who practice anal penetration with other men.
Then came the practice of rimming or anal oral play as introduced by Krystal Tomlinson and the products on the market with Colin Hines expressing that the discussion was disturbing but the male guest by phone who has anal sex with women intervened and said that if persons believe that a man who penetrates a woman is gay and that is revolving around fear which could explain homophobic violence in Jamaica. He then asked how two men or two women in bed affect me or my life. To which Colin Hines gave the usually crappy correct answer in homophobes eyes that of the anus being the anus; and it’s not for sex; and he does not need lubricants and such as vaginas already have that naturally but Dr Shelly Ann Weeks intervened yet again to say that not all women lube naturally and require purchasing items to aid their sexual exploration. Then came the supposition of whether or not persons can be trusted although and those who “bun it out” (public abhorrence to anal sex) in public and then do it in private in other words are effectively pious hypocrites via public homophobia but have private fetishes and therefore should not be two-faced about it.
“I think we need to take the gayness off the table completely” Dr Weeks continued. Krystal Tomlinson had suggested it was gayish for a man to have anal sex with women as he may also be interested in men seeing it is the same orifice.
Colin asked the telephone male guest:
“A man being penetrated by a woman in his ‘bahind’ (colloquial for behind) is that gay?”
To which he said he does not know as he has never had that requested of him or had it done to him.
Sexuality is so beautiful and lovely Dr Shelly Ann Weeks outlined and parts of the body have several neurons and membranes etc and then the male sex toy retailer went down the road of labels such as BATTYMAN which he spelt out on air and when challenged by Dr Weeks as to everyone having ears, nipples, lips he then went on to suggest more lables such as the ridiculous ear man or nippleman or a bottomist; but it is not gay to which I just shook my head as it took so long near the end of the show to finally get some sense coming in the exchange in regards to him.
The use of the term ‘tumble bug’ especially by Colin Hines kept creeping in the exchange and is a stigmatizing term; I swear Colin Hines needs an intervention or change him as host. Other strange comments from Colin included:
“I am one of the idiots out there if I’m inclined to have anal sex then you’re inclined to have homosexual sex ..... that’s just me.”
“Anal sex, no thank you”
“What if someone were to say to you, you allow a woman to penetrate you; what’s to stop you from allowing a man to?”
“Are there no boundaries?” (Colin’s usual pet peeve, playing into the antigay advocacy tagline of moral nihilism).
Dr Shelly Ann Weeks responded appropriately to the first comment:
In other words it amounts to sexual orientation.
Dr Weeks also responded to his third comment/question:
“The only difference a man has anatomically is fact that a man has a penis and a woman has a vagina; both of us have nipples; both of us have nose; both of us have eyes; both of us have butt cheeks; both of us have anuses. If you’re gonna say that rule about the anus then if a man kisses a woman what is to stop him from kissing another man?
Or if a man nibbles on a woman’s nipple, what’s stopping him from doing it to another man; so why is it we just zero in on the anus and decide that anything that a man does to a woman’s anus he will automatically do it to a man’s anus?”
Krystal Tomlinson interjected:
“Similarly in receiving a blow job ........ If the context is all eggs its eggs then all mouth is mouth; if you receive from a woman then you’ll receive it from a man ....... we don’t extend the logic that far.”
Colin Hines responded, “Then may God help unu” (you) and he continued that he felt anal sex is not supposed to happen and held his hardened position on the matter, he then ended by saying there is no redeeming quality in anal sex.
She said in part:
“A man’s anus might turn him on but he is not attracted to a man” which to me was the line for the night as it debunked the belief that sexual practice automatically determines sexual orientation especially when it comes to anal sex.
“A man who may want his woman to penetrate him it’s because he is stimulated by his anus; it turns him on because different parts of our body; some of us our breasts don’t turn us on while some of us we touch it and there is a trigger.....” she continued.
On the matter of a man on the receptive end another guest who arrived later in the show claimed that if the man penetrates a woman anally that does not mean he is gay but if he wants to have penetration done to him or if he accedes to his woman’s request or demands by her wearing a strap on for example then he is gay or inclined to have a man penetrate him. That female speaker was supposed to be a university student ...... sigh, help us lord. Fingers and other sex toys were not mentioned as part of the items substituted for such sexual play. Then came the usual “one way street barb” by the sex toy retailer, I am disappointed that for someone in the sex industry and who be of an opened mind he should be so ignorant and display such on national radio of all places; I wouldn’t patronise his shop or encourage persons to do so at all. He claimed that a woman had asked of him to perform anal sex on her and he promptly put her out of his house the evening in question as it totally turned him off.
Krystal Tomlinson was forced to do an intervention via Wikipedia as she read what the meaning of gay was and so on related to homosexuality. The discussion was trivial though in my view and the teaching moments were lost at some stages as shouting or talkover blocked the information.
Krystal asked the late arrive/female student that “.......the idea of a man surrendering his anus for penetration equals .......?
To which she answered:
“Well it takes away from what the fantasy should be.....” Dr Weeks correctly intervened and suggested the word ‘should’ was problematic as that an agreement or consent is expected by the parties involved and to each their own.
“Who makes that determination though?” asked Dr Weeks.
I pray for the day when I can hear some sensible discourse on homosexuality and anal sex more frequently and not the stuff that is broadcast these days. I recently heard Pastor Aaron Dumas aka “Tell Me Pastor” of Star News on Power 106FM with the same garbage as Colin Hines and as a psychologist correlating anal sex to homosexuality despite the fact that the Diagnostic Statistical Manual, DSM that guides all psychologists and psychiatrists does not see homosexuality as a disorder from as early as 1973; but he chooses to operate outside its sphere. He has also gone as far to encourage reparative therapy on numerous occasions despite the proof is out there that such a practice can be problematic to persons who so engage.
Peace & tolerance