(Make light your distress by finding humour in the situation)
· Conform to societal norms and live in emotional turmoil, busily covering up their sexual orientation
· Live openly as gay or lesbian amidst societal resistance and make light of the situation by poking fun at self as a defence mechanism.
While I would prefer to write in general terms to the entire gay and lesbian community, my commentary will be biased towards the latter of the two, as I can only speak from a place of experience as an openly gay man or woman:- depending on who is asking and what time of day it is...(giggles).
Generally, life has numerous challenges. Being openly gay/lesbian in a fundamentalist and closed society only adds a new dimension to those challenges. Unlike ‘the closeted’, the openly gay and lesbian in Jamaica are not afforded obscurity of ‘closets’ and become fair game for the intolerant of our society, facing constant scrutiny, verbal and physical abuse.
Some of us have been able to soothe our distress (‘kibbah the ‘hart-bun’) with a healthy sense of humour, not taking ourselves or our perpetrators too seriously. Many of us, however, die numerous and cyclical emotional deaths resulting in deep wounds of self-loathing and unworthiness. The escape from these wounds tends to result in a false sense of confidence by flaunting our sexuality flamboyantly or with ‘sass’ or resigned to reclusiveness. Underneath, however, is a constant cry if not obsession for acceptance and approval, for someone, if not everyone, to say “you are ok, just as you are”.
My admonition is:
· Learn to accept and approve of self and let the world follow suit.
· Choose to not take on the issues of others by giving them the responsibility to validate you. That responsibility is yours and yours alone. Besides, if you are worth the time and energy to be invalidated you are ‘by default’ already validated. Know that when people go out their way to be rude, intolerant or belligerent towards you they are really only projecting their own self-loathing and unworthiness on you.
· Don’t take yourself too seriously. Afford yourself the humour of the uniquely fascinating, beautiful and loving being you are, by being able to laugh at yourself and know that you are still OK just as you are.
· “Tek kin teet’ kibbah hart-bun”:- make light your distress by finding humour in the situation.
Prayer
Father/Mother God/Christ within, I now release and let go off any belief of unworthiness within my consciousness; knowing I am the beloved, loving loveable child of God made in the image and likeness of the Divine; worthy of my own love, acceptance and approval. I now release, let go and let the purifying, cleansing, healing power of love now transform, adjust and perfect my mind, body and soul; and I am perfect, whole and complete. This I accept, this I believe, this I receive. Amen
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